An Amount of Discretion
By Lauren Alwan, first published in The Southern Review
A recently widowed painter invites her stepson over to gift him his late father's field journals, but the visit goes poorly when he brings his girlfriend and her young daughter.
Author
Published in
Year
Words
Availability
Collections
Plot Summary
Seline follows her husband Jonathan's wishes to send his collection of work to the Institute of Art, where he had taught painting for many years, but finds a set of field journals full of beautiful sketches and small paintings that she decides she wants to give to his son, Finn. She invites Finn for lunch and hopes to build a closer relationship with him despite losing their connection. He brings his girlfriend Anna and her young daughter Chloe. Though Seline puts in much effort, dons lipstick, and prepares a delicious meal, the children arrive having eaten on the road and only pick at the lunch. Seline gets Finn alone after a while, but when he asks to see a particular painting, 'the foxtail painting' of a hare, the whole crew ends up in Seline's basement studio, where her latest collection waits to be finished. Seline gives Chloe a red crayon to color with and stands with Finn and Anna as they look at the painting. It had been meant to stay with Seline, per Jonathan's wishes, but she suddenly finds it difficult to tell Finn. Chloe knocks over a jar of brushes and some of her paintings. Seline grabs her arm and reprimands her, which upsets Finn. She refuses to give Finn the notebooks and simply follows Jonathan's wishes. Chloe goes to the bathroom upstairs, and Seline has a short tiff with Finn and Anna. They disagree with how she reprimanded Chloe, but Seline—never a maternal person—feels children need discipline. Anna then blurts out what Seline realizes has been her grievance all along—that Jonathan hadn't left any of his paintings to his son but bequeathed them all to the institute. She claims he had thought only of his reputation. As she tidies up before their departure, Seline sweeps each room for belongings left behind. She frowned over the small messes made in each room the child had been in, then was upset to find that her favorite bracelet, a gift from Jonathan, was gone. She knows the child must've grabbed it but finds herself unable to ask for it back after Anna's words about Jonathan's will. After she sees them off, she feels lonely and drawn. She plans to tidy up and complete the job that Jonathan has left for her. She thinks of the child she had seen much of herself in and how she must have felt when she took the bracelet.
Tags