Sheep May Safely Graze
By Jess Row, first published in The Threepenny Review
After losing his young daughter, a middle aged former NSA agent very consciously moves through his own stages of grief.
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Plot Summary
A middle aged father from Washington DC who used to work as a publisher for the NSA lost his daughter in a random boating accident. He is able to acknowledge the no one was to blame for the incident- no one to sue, no real change to be made in order for the same incident to not happen to other people. Following this he begins to navigate his life with a kind of sad numbness, until he finds a cause to fill himself with; a homeless man dies in the street by freezing to death where he collapsed. In his search to find who is responsible, he finds a republican politician from Utah to be responsible. Frank Murphy was the secretary and was blocking a bill that would help homeless people. Finding that he was to blame, the man decides to kill him. The man however is incapable of doing so- he buys the gun, finds Murphy, approaches him, but ends up walking away in the end. Later, the man calls his wife who is travelling abroad in Berlin. His wife tells him a story that a different man in Berlin told her. The Berlin man tells the wife a story about an uncle who he finds out was a Nazi. As a younger person the Berlin man considered killing this uncle, or otherwise punishing him. However before he could, the uncle died of a heart attack. The moral of that story was that people who consider themselves to be innocent and others to be guilty can often feel directionless when there are no people around to point to and call guilty. After this conversation with his wife, the man considers his life. He walks into the living room and sees a picture of his deceased daughter. He goes and carefully dismantles the picture frame it sits in, and throws it all away.
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