The Dark Arts
By Ben Marcus, first published in The New Yorker
An American in Germany stays at a men's hostel while undergoing expensive medical treatment and falls into despair as he waits for his despondent girlfriend to arrive.
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Julian Bledstein is living at a men's hostel in Germany. At night, he sometimes hears the men in other beds having sex. Julian is in Germany to undergo experimental treatment for his rare autoimmune disease. He spends part of every day going down to the incoming trains. He expects his girlfriend Hayley to meet him in Germany, but she is late, and Julian thinks she might not come after all. As he waits, Julian muses that Hayley had encouraged him to travel to Germany and try the new medical treatment that they had both read about. Nothing else that he had tried in the U.S. or elsewhere has worked. Hayley was supposed to accompany him as he received his treatments at the clinic. However, it has been two weeks, and Hayley has yet to join Julian. While waiting at the train station, Julian reflects on a call he received from his father, who has been funding his healthcare. His father asked to speak to Hayley and tells Julian that he is really alone in Germany. That night at the hostel, Julian wakes up from an intense dream and realizes that another man had crawled into his bed. Disturbed and confused, Julian rushes to the bathroom. As he gets his bearings, he has a difficult time distinguishing between dream and reality, but he eventually realizes that he had been reciprocating the man's advances. Julian becomes upset and wants to cry. In the morning, he tries to get different accommodations, but the higher price of a private room—and what the cost would mean for his father—makes him change his mind and settle for staying in the larger room. The afternoon after the incident, Julian is receiving treatment at the clinic when the nurse tells him that his friend is there. Julian doesn't believe it, so he ignores her. He goes upstairs to see the doctor. The doctor tells him there is a tumor in his brain, and that the clinic will have to terminate his treatment until his regular doctor in America can treat his tumor. When Julian exits the clinic, Hayley is outside waiting for him. She does not acknowledge that she is two weeks late. The two walk together, and Hayley makes conversation. But when she asks if they can head back to his room, Julian replies that there is no place for her there. Hayley begs to stay with him, but Julian turns away and crosses the street. He returns to the hostel with the sentiment that it is where he belongs.
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