The Mud Below
By Annie Proulx, first published in The New Yorker
A 23-year-old man falls deeply in love with bull riding even as the sport destroys his body.
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Diamond Felts is sitting on top of a bull that just might kick his ass. He's had a decent run so far, but this bull is notoriously tricky. Diamond is 5'3 and 130 pounds-- he's had hard luck with girls and faced jokes about his height his whole life, especially from his sarcastic mother. He fantasizes about sleeping with tall women. In high school, roped into a weekend doing ranch work with a couple of losers, he tries out bull riding for the first time. It's electric, terrifying, and immediately addicting. Though his mother hates the idea, he falls into deep commitment with bull riding. During year one, Diamond rapes the tall wife of his traveling partner, Myron Sasser, who accompanies him during drives between rodeos. Angry at a comment she made about his height, Diamond assaults her in Myron's truck. When Myron finds out, he knocks Diamond out with a waffle iron. Diamond recalls the moment his father revealed to Diamond that he was not his real father, after a day of furious parental fighting, right before hopping in the car and permanently leaving Diamond's life. After two years of riding, Diamond damages his knee and returns home to his sweet younger brother Pearl and critical, unsupportive mother. In a final effort to dissuade him from riding, she takes him to see Hondo Gunsch, a once-successful bronc rider who is now permanently disfigured and mentally disabled from a riding injury. Furious, Diamond leaves home weeks ahead of schedule. Diamond finds a new travelling partner, Pake Bitts, who is deeply religious and frequently tells Diamond that he ought to turn to Jesus, and become more of a family man. Over time, Diamond notices that he's the only bull rider in his circle with no wife, kids, or family life at all. He gives a hearfelt speech in a bar to his fellow rodeo-ers about how "rodeo is life." In Diamond's next, the bull he's on-- the previously mentioned, notoriously tricky one-- throws him off and nearly rips his arm from his socket. Diamond feels defeated, and tired of the violence he is surrounded by. On the drive to the next rodeo, at a truck stop, he calls his mother and asks who his real father was. His mother refuses to answer. As he drives away from the truck stop, he feels disillusioned with bull riding and begins to feel like it's a distant memory.
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