From Willow Temple
By Donald Hall, first published in The Atlantic Monthly
As an old woman revisits her family's quintessentially American history, she finds a way to respect and love her parents, despite the scandals and tragedies they endured.
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Plot Summary
Camilla, an elderly woman, remembers her childhood in Abigal, Michigan. She grew up in the same house her mother had grown up in. Her mother, Ella, was beautiful and adored by all, especially Camilla. She'd grown up in a family of sisters on a relatively poor but industrious farm. Her childhood best friend had been her cousin Rudolph. This solemn boy instilled a love of reading in her. The two were inseparable until one day, Rudy hung himself in the attic. Ella didn't hear the news until the next day and grieved for half a year. She stayed in bed and refused to eat until she suddenly snapped out of it one day.
Ella grew into her beauty and became extraordinarily popular. She then met Camilla's father, Billy, and they were engaged shortly after. Billy was also from a prosperous farm, but pig farming was not his strong suit. When he met Ella, he was in the midst of his studies to become a high school Latin teacher. By the time Camilla was born, he had become the principal of Abigail High School. His enthusiasm for Latin was the reason why Camilla was given her name.
Camilla's childhood was happy and uneventful. The family rode horses after school every day and went on long drives on Sundays. They read extensively and kept hired hands to care for the horses and chickens. The hired hands rotated through, but Camilla's favorite was a handsome and bright local boy named Raymond, who had a wonderful touch with the horses.
Everything changed when Billy became obsessed with the battle over classical studies in the American education system. He began to spend less time with his family, and his marriage suffered. One night, Camilla woke to hear her parents arguing and her father crying. For some time afterward, she would stay awake every night to listen to her parents quarrel and realize that there was someone else — her mother was in love with Raymond, the hired hand.
Everything came to a head when they invited Raymond over one night. All spoke together, which ended in a frightened Raymond running away, and Billy soon left in anger. Camilla crept out to stand on the staircase, and when her mother turned and saw her, the young girl said dramatically, "I have known all." But her mother's terror at her statement led Camilla to retract what she'd said and feign innocence, fearing her mother's reaction. She kept her secret after that and watched as her parents patched it up and her father withdrew from his committees and battles for the teachings of Latin.
Despite that she stayed quiet, Camilla was changed forever by her mother's affair. She escaped into novels and her imagination and became cynical and wary of humanity. She became a writer and proclaimed her and her parents' lives ordinary after the incident with Raymond. Despite some tragedies, she clung to her parents and found love and comfort there. In her mother's last years, she returned to the story of Rudolph and agonized over his death. Her mother recalls the similarity between Rudolph and Raymond in their piercing blue eyes — she still thinks Camilla never found out about the affair, as she wanted to protect her from ever thinking that her childhood was less than perfect. Ella bemoans the arbitrariness of life, yet Camilla disagrees — no mistake is wholly arbitrary, she thinks.
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