adams
By George Saunders, first published in In Persuasion Nation
A man in suburbia finds his neighbor nearly naked standing outside his kids' rooms. He begins to retaliate to prevent it from ever happening again.
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Roger sees Adams, his neighbor, in his kitchen facing his kids' room. Adams is practically naked. Roger freaks out and "wonks" Adams repeatedly until he is out of his house. When Roger's wife Karen comes home he recounts the situation and explains that the kids can't go outside when Adams is home. Later, Roger goes to Adams' house because he loves his kids and is not going to accept or take what Adams did. He goes into Adams room and is aggressive to him again. Roger says they were even now that he went into Adams' house, except that he was wearing pants. Adams replies that he is what he is. This only makes Roger more angry. Adams' wife Lynn tries to intervene but Roger pushes his down. Adams is angry but Roger justifies it by noting that he's heard Adams abuse her anyways. Adams' kids rush in and see the entire ordeal. At this point Roger tries to leave but the kids are in the doorway. Roger feels bad for the kids because he suspects that Adams is also abusive to them. One of the kids bites Roger so Roger hits Adam by proxy. Then, Roger leaves. He becomes paranoid that people, including Adams' kids will think Roger is a bad guy because they don't know that Adams deserved it for standing naked in his house. Roger thinks Adams' kids will start pranking him and being mean to him, so he puts up a bunch of signs and letters in a window facing the kids' rooms explaining what Adam did. Later, Roger receives calls from the neighbors urging him to go to the police or work with them to deal with Adams. They all do not like Adams and find him strange. However, they encourage Roger not to act in violence or aggression. When Roger goes to smoke, he sees Adams outside giving him a dirty look. Adams reiterates that he is what he is. Roger chases him into his house. Roger makes sure that his kids don't go outside. One day, Adams gives Roger another dirty look so Roger hits him. He becomes paranoid that Adams hates him so much that he is going to murder him and his family. Because of this idea, Roger breaks into Adams' house and steals all of his sharp objects or things that could be used to hurt people. That night, he has the idea that Adams may become so angry that he will use household chemicals and toxins to poison his family. Roger goes back into Adams' house to steal all of their chemicals but is caught by the entire family. They try to beat him up and Roger feels like he is dying. As he thinks of his children, Roger fights back. He lights the bag of chemicals on fire, drops it, and escapes.
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