A Temporary Embarrassment in Spacetime
By Charlie Jane Anders, first published in Cosmic Powers
On an intergalactic spaceship, two runaway servants turned mercenaries agree to a dangerous mission that will take them back to the planet from which they escaped—in return for a shot at a clean record and a peaceful life.
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Plot Summary
Sharon (a monster) and Kango (a pleasure servant) are ex-servants from a pleasure-planet, who have become mercenaries of sorts, stealing valuable weapons and machinery to sell for money. They manage to pull off a dangerous mission stealing from an immensely powerful monster called the Vastness (which literally controls a whole asteroid belt of ships and people brainwashed to be devoted to him) but end up stuck with an annoying stowaway named Jara.
On their way to sell the machinery they stole from the Vastness for some desperately needed money, they are intercepted by a request to fulfill a mission, one that will take them back to the planet they were created on. With trepidation, they agree in exchange for their criminal records dropped and a shot at their dream to open a restaurant.
Jara poses as an important Countess to get in and manages to secure lodging despite the bad memories the planet invokes for all of them. A few days in, a party serves as the perfect distraction for Sharon to move into place and steal the extraordinarily powerful weapon they were sent to retrieve. However, things go haywire when Kango and Jara are captured by Sharon and Kango's former employer, who activates the weapon now onboard Sharon's ship. Not only this, the Vastness has arrived at the planet seeking revenge on the two.
Sharon finds Kango and Jara and frees them by eating her former employer. The three try to escape aboard their ship, but chaos ensues on the planet. At the last moment, Sharon has the idea to wire the machinery stolen from the Vastness, which has the power to teleport items across the galaxy, into the weapon they were sent to retrieve, which sends its targets to a massive black hole. They send a message to the Vastness telling him that the ultimate weapon will make him unstoppable, and when he takes the weapon, he disappears, teleported to a black hole, and gone forever.
Jara, though shocked at herself for disobeying her former idol, seems to realize an inner yearning for individuality and friendship similar to what Sharon and Kango share. She ultimately decides to go with them as they set off to open their restaurant.
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