Lobsters
By Charles Stross, first published in Asimov's Science Fiction
A man, who has genius ideas that he shares with others to make him rich, is contacted by a rogue AI that is comprised of hijacked lobster brains. At the same time, his IRS-tax-collector fiancé tracks him down and schemes to rope him back into their engagement.
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In the future, a man who believes in generosity and sharing his ideas to help others get rich is contacted by a rouge Russian artificial intelligence who pleads with him to help the intelligence escape. The man is suspicious that this is a set-up, and rejects the intelligence's cry for help. Manfred is at "the peak" of his profession. He does not need to worry about money because he has helped so many people build fortunes. These people are grateful to him, and as a result, he has access to the best amenities and resources. The man meets with a friend at a bar. The friend brings along a woman who works as a sales representative, and the man listens to her sales pitch. The next morning, the man's fiancee arrives. She is a tax collector for the IRS, and she has been trying to convince him to pay the trillions of dollars of taxes her owes to the government. She and the man have been engaged for two years, but they are currently on a break. They have never had intercourse, as it is not the social norm for people anymore, not after the widespread antibiotic abuse of the past. The man gets a call from the rouge artificial intelligence again. He discovers that the artificial intelligence consists of hijacked lobster brains. He comes up with an idea to sell their services as a contractor in the space mining industry, and convinces his friend to sign them on. He also persuades his friend to set a legal precedent protecting the lobsters' rights, making the argument that when human brains are uploaded into artificial intelligence, that they need a precedent protecting their rights. That night, his fiancee and him reunite. They have intercourse, and she makes sure that he impregnates her.
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