Suns That Our Hearts Harden
By Carlton Brown, first published in The Plowshare
The son of a divorced couple spends a lovely vacation with his father in France and tries to navigate the love he feels for both of his parents, as well as the animosity they feel for each other.
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Plot Summary
On their way to La Gaude, Raymond and Raymond Jr. laugh endlessly, bonding with each other over their inside jokes, songs, and stories. All the while, Raymond Jr. checks his language, trying to evade including his mother, Raymond’s divorced wife, in the conversation. When the two are in sight of La Gaude, Raymond suggests to his son that they should have a bottle of wine here, then continue to St. Jeannet and take a bus home at five. Raymond Jr. agrees, and the two head to a bistrot for their first round of wine. While drinking, they dance and sing to the tune of the player piano in the room, and despite spending so much energy in La Gaude, they still laugh and joke their way to St. Jeannet. Raymond Jr. basks in the similarity of their humor, thinking his father is the only person who can make him laugh over nothing at all. After coasting on their drunken delirium and jubilance to St. Jeannet, the father-son duo stops at a bistrot to begin drinking again. They sit at a table overlooking the French Alps and vineyards. Raymond Jr. remarks how beautiful it is to be drinking wine while watching the people make more of it from the surrounding grape vines. Raymond asks their hostess to notify them when the bus back to Nice arrives, and he and his son resume their talk and play. When the bottle of red wine dwindles to half its original content, the two remain seated as the hostess hurries to them, telling them they have just missed the bus. The father and son laugh at their debacle, then walk to the train station to travel back to Nice. Raymond Jr. ponders how he can oscillate so severely between his love for his father and mother. He is clearly a mixture of his parents, but they despise one another. After one of Raymond’s bathroom breaks causes him and his son to deboard the train and miss it, they slowly make their way back to Nice.
By the time they reach home, Raymond Jr. has grown irritable, the dizzying effects of the wine wearing off. His stepmother, Flora, scolds Raymond for walking and drinking so much. When Raymond Jr. goes upstairs to escape the dour mood of the house’s constituents, Flora asks him to talk some sense into his father. Downstairs, he repeatedly tries to get his father to go to sleep, then sits awkwardly until he summons the courage to bring up his mother. His father proceeds into a tirade about her, but Raymond Jr. objects, saying she has sacrificed so much of herself to ensure the happiness of her children. The two argue back and forth until Raymond threatens to send his son away. Raymond Jr. retreats to his room to cry, but after suffering from his endless swirl of love and confusion for both his parents, he ventures downstairs again. He tells Raymond that he simply wants to love both his parents without taking sides. He says he wishes to see his mother and father as friends and not participate as a weapon in their arguments with each other. Raymond’s anger cools and he tells his son he loves him. The two have a glass of wine, then go to bed.
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