On This Side
By Yuko Sakata, first published in The Iowa Review
In Japan, a man takes in his transgender childhood friend after she shows up at his apartment. He is driven by guilt that he abandoned her when they were younger, and he must now grapple with feelings of guilt and budding emotion.
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Plot Summary
Midsummer, Toru comes home from an early shift and finds a girl sitting on the stairs. He tries to ignore her, but quickly realizes that the girl is Masato, who he was friends with when they were both young boys. Masato now goes by Saki. Toru invites her in, and she explains she needs a place to stay after her boyfriend stabbed her after discovering her past identity. Toru feels some kind of guilt about to Saki’s situation that goes back to their childhood days. He lets her stay.
When Toru comes home from work, he and Saki often talk. She learns about his older, married girlfriend. Saki also shares some of her nightmares. She reveals that she is afraid of getting her things stolen, as her boyfriend once broke into her apartment and took her belongings, so Toru agrees to make a copy of his house key for her. Saki asks if she can come to work with Toru at his vending machine job, but he says no. He explains that he is going to his second job that day, working at a cemetery and cleaning graves. Saki expresses her interest nevertheless. Although he feels self-conscious going out in public with Saki, Toru agrees to take her. He has a flashback to when Masato, the target of bullying by a group of male students, jumped from the third-story balcony at school and scarred his leg.
Toru and Saki fall into a pattern, as Saki has been staying in his apartment for about a month. Toru is curious what Saki does during the day, and she reveals that she is looking for a job. Later, Saki proposes that the two do a farewell fire to send off spirits, and afterwards Toru begins to feel that the two of them could have a life together.
But then, one morning, one of Toru’s neighbors tells him that he saw Saki bringing another man into the apartment, suggesting that she is a prostitute and that Toru should kick her out.
Toru proceeds to talk to Saki. He asks if he could somehow help her situation out long term, but when Saki turns this down, Toru asks her not to bring her customers to his apartment. Saki explains that the man was her boyfriend's brother. He had wanted her to stop seeing his brother, who she has still been seeing even though she is living with Toru. Toru asks her if she wants to get back with her old boyfriend, but Saki replies with ambivalence. Another night, she tells Toru that he was her only friend when they were younger.
One day when Toru comes home, Saki and her things are no longer there. It is September, and a typhoon hits. Toru stands at his window and calls his married girlfriend to check in on her. She is pleasantly surprised. She tries to confirm their plans for next week, but Toru has gone silent, thinking about Saki’s dream.
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