Kafka's Last Laugh
By Vagabond, first published in Octavia's Brood
When a young Puerto Rican woman finds herself working retail as part of her prison sentence for participating in a protest, she discovers that laughter may be her most powerful weapon.
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A young Puerto Rican woman, Resister Fernandez, attends a protest on Wall Street in the near future. Because the protest is outside of the designated free speech assembly zones, police surround the area. When she sees the opportunity, Resister lunges at the nearest cop, knocking him to the ground. Other protesters join her efforts, though she is soon knocked out by a baton. She later wakes up to a splash of cold water and struggles to maintain her consciousness as she is periodically drenched in water poured over her nose and mouth. When she wakes up next, she is in a hospital bed, her head and ribs bandaged. The court-appointed public defender meets her there, explaining that he has already accepted the plea deal they offered while she was unconscious. She has been charged with seditious conspiracy and assault, but the defender was able to get her only three years. After the lawyer leaves and she reads through her file, Resister erupts in uncontrollable laughter, and soon the whole room is laughing. The laughter does not stop until a doctor enters and sedates her. Resister soon arrives at Sunny Day Prison, Incorporated, where her intake officer explains that she will be sent to Corrective Retail Operation Confinement, also known as the Prison Mall. There, she will work at a perfume counter for less than one cent per hour. While the officer talks, Resister is given a nano drug used to monitor the inmates' health, track them via GPS, and transmit electroshock signals for unsatisfactory behavior. The whole process is designed to correct criminals' behavior by increasing their appreciation for capitalism. While working at the perfume counter, Resister experiences constant nausea from the strong scents she is surrounded by. When she complains and fills out the paperwork to switch positions, she is told there is a two week waiting period until her request will even be reviewed. So, acting on the advise of a new friend, Resister lets her nausea take over and vomits on a customer. She is transferred to the shoe department the next day. Over a month later, Resister's paperwork finally goes through and she is handed a rejection letter. Immediately, she breaks out in laughter, which the inmates surrounding her again mimic. The officers try to use the electroshock signals in the nano drug to control them, but the endorphins being released by their laughter block the effects of the drug. As Resister is escorted back to her cell, she realizes that laughter is the key to revolution.
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