We Didn't
By Stuart Dybek, first published in Antaeus
In a missive to his ex-girlfriend, a wistful man remembers the impact of one horrifying night on their sex life and relationship.
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The light, the darkness; the grass, the leaves; the car, the bed: a nameless man remembers everywhere he and a former flame didn't have sex. They first met the summer between high school and college, and until one warm night on the beach, their relationship sped along normally. As they fumble with each other on the shore of Lake Erie, about to make love for the first time, police cars swoop down on them from all sides. They barely have time to cover themselves before officers run into the ocean and pull out a naked, dead, very pregnant woman. Shell-shocked, they take the train home and say good night. From that night onward, they can never bring themselves to consummate the relationship. All she can think about when they try is the naked, dead woman on the beach. Her unborn child haunts her dreams. Eventually, he begins to see the corpse, too. The relationship continues throughout the summer, but playfulness quickly gives way to argument, which in turn begets silence. They never did it, and they never will.
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