As the Last I May Know
By S.L. Huang, first published in Tor.com
As per tradition in her country, a young girl of a mysterious Order is chosen to bear the launch codes of sere missiles embedded in her heart. To activate the missiles, the president of her country must personally cut open her chest to extract the code capsule.
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Plot Summary
A young girl named Nyma grows up in the Order, a government-adjacent organization that is dedicated to maintaining world peace, formed after the devastation of its own country due to bombings in a previous war. At the age of ten, Nyma is chosen for a special role in which she must hold the launch codes for incredibly destructive sere missiles in a capsule within her heart. Any governmental official who wants to use the missiles would first have to murder her personally by cutting the code capsule out of her body with a dagger. The duty of carrying the codes must be done by someone young, and the training for such a role is carried out by the elders and tutors within the Order. Typically, as throughout the two centuries before, the role is ceremonial, but Nyma’s country is now on the brink of war, which puts her at great risk. The recently elected president, Otto Han, says in an interview that he is willing to use any tool at his disposal to win the war. President Han is resentful that he must adhere to the Order’s traditions, calling them barbaric. He meets Nyma but is uninterested in getting to know her. Nyma lives in the president’s Tower office in her diplomatic role and passes the time with her studies in the Order and by reading and writing poetry. At one point, the President asks her to read one of her poems for him, and the two appear to bond. On Nyma's twelfth birthday, Tej - her mentor from the Order - asks her if she’d like to publish a book of her poetry. The publication earns her fame across the nation. Two months after Nyma turns thirteen, the Capital is attacked by an air raid. The president does not summon her until seventy four days later, when an occupying force invades the outer peninsula. He intends to extract the codes and takes out his ceremonial dagger to do so, but in the end he cannot bear to kill her. The next day, Tej urges Nyma to flee the country; he tells her he can reset the launch codes and deliver them to the president, which would spare Nyma’s life and still allow the use of the missiles. The bombings in their country have killed many, and the war situation has become so dire that even Tej believes that using the missiles may be necessary. Nyma refuses to run, and is disgusted by Tej's suggestion that she do so. She watches that day from a window in the tower, seeing smoke and dust and crumbling ruins of buildings in the streets below. She wonders if her death might save people, or if it would only lead to many more people like herself dying. With these thoughts, she decides to write a poem.
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