Da Vinci Is Dead
By R.C. Hamilton, first published in Antioch Review
An old man becomes aware of the finality of his life, and that he couldn't find much meaning to it anymore.
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John Morento is an elderly man living in an old folks home. He lives day to day, setting himself apart from the other old folks by avoiding the provided activities like yoga and Pilates classes to escape the vapidity he associates with them. He tended to keep to himself, read books and wander arouond. However, there are two other old folks, Eunice Lolliard and Milton, who insist on including him in things, possibly out of pity. John hates being pitied, but goes along with it anyway. They often invite him to the pool, and because John used to be a diver in college, Mrs. Lolliard had been pestering him to dive for her so she could watch. John doesn't want to- he had been bad at it in his youth and didn't expect to fair better in old age. He might hurt himself badly. At some point in the day, he feels woozy, like his sugar was low. So he goes to the candy stand and gets himself a candy bar. While he is there, he sees two men playing chess. He recalls one of them, vaguely but not the other. One of them says hi, but as John is trying to remember where he had seen him before, the other man scoffs and tells the other man playing chess not to bother with John- he is always aloof. At this embarrassment, John spirals into thoughts about human communication and understanding, that after all this time in his life he and no one else had changed or evolved for better human connection, how he himself still allowed petty embarrassments to bother him, and how nothing in his life seemed to have led anywhere truly fulfilling. He thinks of a quote from Da Vinci from his later life- "My life has been spent observing the wrong things and seeing in the wrong ways." John then realizes that Da Vinci is dead anyway.
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