A man named Chibiabos Elgrego Winnegan (called Chib) has a strange dream about a rooster crowing and numerous ancient figures such as Socrates and Daedalus. He dreams of Icarus flying and Aristotle having sex with Athena. He then sees a keyhole and a woman whom he has an intimate time with. Chib sees a large toad that attacks him and then he wakes up from the dream, realizing it was nightmare. He thinks about his great grandfather's unpublished manuscript called "Private Ejaculations." He calls his grandfather, Grandpa Winnegan, and many people believe that his grandfather is hiding from the government because he swindle someone in the past. Grandpa Winnegan really admires James Joyce and mentions this in his work.

When he wakes up, Chib looks around his room. The houses of his town are egg-shaped and he has a Fido--a television and phone-like device--on his wall. He watches the news announcement on it about the weather and eventually gets up.

Chib watches a man appear on the fido--an individual named Rex Luscus. He has one eye and often says "inter caecos regnat luscus" because he named himself after it (King One-Eyed). Luscus talks to Chib from the fido about his plans for an art showing that day and then asks Chib if he wants to eat breakfast with him. Chib refuses, saying he has too much to do that day.

The phone rings again and he answers it. Rousseau Red Hawk appears on the fido. According to Chib, his name used to be Julius Applebaum but then he changed it on his Naming Day (a day in which people get to change their names to fit their goals for the future and/or their outlook on life). Rousseau asks Chib if he is joining their group for the afternoon and then talks about what they did the night prior. Chib tells Rousseau that he will meet the group in the afternoon and makes his way to the living room where his half-brother and half-sister are sleeping. His step mother--Mama--greets him and he almost cries, thinking of his biological mother who died a long time ago.

Chib asks Mama about breakfast and she gets mad, saying that he needs to make his own breakfast and that he doesn't love her anymore. He talks to the others in the living room before going to paint. He paints a three-dimensional work about religion, which is something the government considers controversial.

Several years ago, Chib's great grandfather was a successful businessman with a company of content workers. These workers were paid more than the "purple wage," which is the standard wage people make. However, Chib's grandfather's business was shut down by a man called a "gummint," who stole twenty billion dollars and then died. A government Federal Agent named Falco Accipiter has started to hunt Chib because he wants to find that money and Chib is related to his great grandfather who was connected to the case. Falco asks about Chib's great grandfather and Chib explains that he has been dead for many years and tells Falco to leave or else he will report him.

Chib grabs some cigars from Grandpa Winnegan, tells Mama he isn't going to eat dinner with them, and then heads to Grandpa's door. He says the secret password and the door opens. Grandpa also has one eye and talks in a strange, but eloquent way that Chib thinks is fascinating. He gives Grandpa the cigars and listens to his stories. Grandpa talks about his life and how he is 120 years old. Chib and his Grandpa then talk about a device called the Fornixator, which provides sexual pleasure to people without the risk of procreation. People have holes drilled into their head for it and it becomes addicting.

Later on that day, Chib goes to watch an interview of Luscus, whom he is doing sexual favors for in order to become a famous artist. The interview consists of Luscus talking about the past and historical Latin mythologies. He also talks about Chib to the interviewers so that he receives more views.

Chib finishes watching the interview with his Grandpa. Grandpa remembers that when Chib was a child, he would believe all of the stories his grandfather would tell him. Grandpa thinks about how Chib's Mama spends a lot of time gambling and that Chib is sexually ambivalent because he has sex with all genders. Grandpa warns Chib of trusting Luscus, but then goes on to talk about the past and Uncle Sam as a father figure to him.

Chib goes with his friends, nicknamed the Young Radishes, to a fortune teller before heading out to see a girl he likes at his art exhibition. Her name is Benedictine Serinus Melba and he fancies her body. He asks her to talk in private and she gets upset because she believes that he ruined her appearance and also forced her to get pregnant. They argue about this and she goes to the bathroom to get rid of his sperm, but he fills her uterus with canned foam to prevent it. Her girlfriend and parents become furious with him, but Chib runs.

He hears the fortune teller again and she explains that he is going to go on a long journey. His friend, Rousseau, also comes and warns him not to go to Egypt. The fortune teller continues to tell him his fortune and Chib pays for her beer, encouraged by the words she says. Benedictine finds him again and tells him that the baby is probably not his, but Chib doesn't care. She tells him that she's going to get rid of the baby and that she is upset that he ruined her chance to perform. Chib calls her a liar.

Chib and his friends pretend to create a terrorist attack, but the police show up. The police, however, are not very professional and just have sirens and rods that shock people. They block the entrance, but end up leaving. Chib's friend, Omar Runic walks into the exhibition and improvises a poem about Chib's recent painting of a nativity. The fido reporters come, known for stirring up trouble, and begin to cause trouble and chaos. Chib tears up his painting.

Chib receives a phone call from his grandfather, who explains that Falco Accipiter broke into their home. When Chib returns home, his Grandpa is there but has died from shock. Many people stand around and are mourning the loss. Chib and Mama go to a funeral, which is very different from other funerals. They dig up the coffin of his grandfather and when they open the coffin, it explodes. The stolen billions of dollars erupt from the coffin and a banner appears that says "Winnegan's Fake." A man hands a note to Chib and it explains that Chib has to leave his home and family so he can remember that people love him.