In Seoul, South Korea in 1985, a family has a daughter, Jamni. She is the youngest of four daughters. The father went out and got drunk. The grandmother made a comment that it was just their fate that the family would have four girls. A year later, however, the family has a son, Jaesung. The family celebrates. The dad boasts that this son will be a scholar, as he always wanted to be but had to drop out of school to take care of his parents. 

For Jaesung’s first birthday, they have a doljanchi and special food. Their aunt comes to see the baby and he gets special gifts. The boy uses a calligraphy brush and the parents get excited and the family envisions him getting into a special university someday. 

None of the daughters in the family had ever had a doljanchi. The eldest daughter did not know that girls had these until she found out that her friend, Jinyoung, had had one. Jinyoung had little brothers. Jinyoung, her brothers, the eldest daughter, and her two younger sisters would all hang out together at recess. They were in different grades but were able to spend recess together. The eldest daughter was responsible for looking out for Okmi and Sangmi, her younger sisters. 

The girls were all happy for Jaesungs doljanchi, birthday parties, and special gist--even though they did not get them themselves. The girls felt that if they did things for Jaesung they were helping the entire family. 

However, when Jinyoung showed the eldest daughter pictures of her doljanchi, the girl felt funny inside. 

At Jaesung’s third birthday party they have a special, American caked. The grandmother says they must take special care of their brother as he is going to bring honor to the family and prevent the parents from dying on a mountain.

Sometimes the grandma would tell the kids stories. One of those stories was one where a poor Korean man takes his parents up on a mountain to die because he cannot afford to feed his wife, kids, and parents. However, upon reaching the top, he realizes he cannot do it and returns to the bottom of the mountain with his parents. The eldest girl wonders if they lived happily ever after. 

One day the dad returns home early from work. The parents seem distraught. The father is crying. Jaesung is singing a song from a commercial. The girls, Okmi and the eldest, are sent to the store. The eldest daughter is upset but no one checks on her as she is labeled as the moody one. The girls take a while at the store because they like to look at all the fancy things which they cannot afford. The family is losing their house. 

The girls share a room with their parents. Jaesung and the grandparents share the other room in the house. 

The eldest daughter overhears the grandparents and the father talking. The father lost the house. A year and a half prior, Mr. Chung, a friend of the father, had asked him to help him get a loan for a business. The father agreed and put his house up for collateral. Mr. Chung has disappeared and his business failed. Thus, the family is losing their home. 

The eldest is the only child who overhears this conversation. The eldest then hears the family talking about school fees. They do not know how they will afford for the eldest to continue or to put Jaesung in tutoring so he can bring success to the family. The younger daughters will be able to go to school through grade six for free. 

Everyone goes to bed. The eldest sneaks out. She thinks of how she wishes she could be small like the field mice. 

She thinks of how her parents talk of Jaesung being smart and successful, and wonders if she could be too. She often receives high marks and the boys in her class are jealous of her intelligence. She did not have many friends because people were jealous of her. 

At the awards ceremony when she graduated from the sixth grade, she received six ribbons and two gold pins. Neither her parents nor her grandparents were there. Two of her sisters, Sangmi and Okmi, were there though. They gave her standing ovations for the first two awards. Though as the eldest continued winning the audience became angry so they stopped cheering. 

After graduation, there was an ice cream party at one of the girls’ houses. The eldest was not invited. Her sisters could not go home with her because they had class. She overhears people talking about her. They say mean things like she cheated or is disrespectful for dressing so poorly. She is afraid to go out in front of the school because she does not want to upset anyone after winning so many school awards. 

She remembers how intensely the boys would study for exams and that she too, wanted to do this. So she did. She desires her parents to praise her and be proud of her. However, throughout all of her schooling, her parents said nothing. 

Her teacher calls her as she is going to the back door but she does not respond. She goes out the back and rips up all her certificates. She throws them air like it is raining colorful spirals. 

She stops crying and goes to the front of the school where recess has begun. She realizes that studying only makes people dislike you, so she won’t do it anymore. She hopes her brother will though because his success will only make him people and will make people like him. 

At home, she goes to the backyard, which is her favorite place. It is night and her family is asleep. She picks up a mouse and gives it powdered medicine so it will die peacefully. She has a memory of her father stomping on a mouse. She says this mouse will not die like that. Though, she kills it because the mice are eating their rice. She places the dying mice in the dandelions and goes inside.  The next morning when her parents go to work, she plans to help her grandmother make breakfast. After Jaesung wakes, it is her job to help her sisters get ready. She is going to place enough of this powder in her and her sister’s porridge bowls. She knows her parents will be sad but she also knows they will be alright.