Treat You Clever
By Maristan Chapman, first published in The Saturday Evening Post
When a northern writer arrives in a rural Tennessee town to better understand the culture for his novel, he is put through a harrowing night by the menfolk who, in the course of an elaborate joke, convince him he has inadvertently killed the son of his hosts.
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Rashe Lowe and Tom Carr are neighbors in rural Tennessee. Rashe hails from the mountainous region and Tom has outland tendencies. They observe Emmet Parker, a northerner, arriving in town, and Rashe bristles that the man would jouney on the Sabbath. Mr. Parker is a friend of Tom’s and the latter defends the former to Rashe, saying that Emmet is seeking to write a book about the community. Emmet was originally supposed to stay with Tom, but Tom asks Rashe if he wouldn’t mind housing Emmet for the sake of his book. When he is told of the change to the plans for his stay, Emmet bristles slightly but acquiesces, deciding that it will be a useful opportunity for him to get some experience with the local Native American culture. Emmet and Rashe part ways with Tom and head back to Rashe’s home.
Rashe’s wife, Barsha, is waiting for him, and when she sees their guest, begins to prepare extra portions for dinner. She is not involved in their conversation but listens in and decides that their guest is well-intentioned. Rashe and Emmet discuss the latter’s plans—he intends to remain in town a few days and gather information about the local culture, including their dialect, customs, and environment. Rashe does not immediately understand what Emmet hopes to gain and is of the firm opinion that their way of life is quite ordinary. He tells Emmet that a woman once came to town to try to teach the residents a normative form of English and indicates it went over laughably poorly. He suggests that Emmet leave out the dialect all together.
Rashe then offers to take Emmet out that night to get him acquainted with the country. Emmet accepts, and he and his hosts pass dinner with amicable misunderstandings about appropriate volume levels and proper manners. Rashe and Barsha’s son, Waits, interrupts their meal to tell his parents that he has killed a few rabbits for tomorrow’s breakfast. Waits is a young man and is dubious about Emmet and his profession, and when he and Rashe leave the house to see to the rabbits, he tells his father of his concerns about Emmet’s interest in moonshine conflicts in the area. Rashe warns Waits against harming their guest, but Waits insists he only wants to mess with Emmet. Rashe is not as opposed to this and returns to the house with a rifle for Emmet. Barsha is scandalized that they would go hunting for raccoons on a Sunday, but the men are unfazed.
They meet up with some other men from town and brave severe wind to reach their hunting grounds. The dogs scent an animal up a tree, but instead of it being a racoon, the men believe it to be a bear. Emmet is offered first shot, and when he takes it, a form falls to the ground. Instead of a bear, it turns out to be Waits. Rashe is too stunned to move, and one of the men Morris Ott, pulls Emmet from the hunting group. Ott tells Emmet that Rashe will suspect that the Hughett family has hired Emmet to kill Waits as part of their ongoing feud with the Lowes. Ott tries to help Emmet escape, but Emmet insists he must turn himself in. The two men eventually make it out of the forest and reach a cabin located in proximity to Rashe’s still, which is being stalked by revenue men. Emmet involuntarily makes a noise and attracts the attention of the revenue men. They seize him and begin marching away from the site. As they make their way, they run into Rashe and the rest of the hunting party. As the revenue men clash with the hunters, Emmet is lost in the chaos and ends up next to Rashe’s still. The fight continues, but Ott manages to get ahold of Emmet and get him out. Eventually, Emmet is deposited at Tom Carr’s house. Rashe, situated a ways from the doorstep, takes a shot at Emmet and leaves. Later, Tom takes Emmet to Rashe’s house and demands to know what has happened.
Rashe meets them at the door and Emmet demands to know where the Hughett widow and the sheriff are. After trading exclamatory remarks, Rashe eventually lets Emmet in on the joke: there is no feud between the Lowes and the Hughetts. Once he realizes no harm has been done, Emmet finds it tremendously funny and comes in for breakfast. Waits is sitting at the table and reveals there were only blanks in Emmet’s gun, much to his relief.
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