Can You Feel This?
By Julie Orringer, first published in Amazon Original Stories
A young woman has a baby, but her traumatic past makes her doubt her capabilities of being a good mother.
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Plot Summary
A young woman is having a baby at the hospital. Her husband, Ky, is with her, but she's having complications. The hospital lights are giving her flashbacks to when her mom died in the hospital. Additionally, there are issues with the baby. The baby isn't breathing, and she immediately thinks the newborn is dead. The nurse rushed to take care of the baby, and one of the nurses asked if she had any relatives. She doesn't say anything because her parents are divorced. She recalls their messy marriage. After the divorce, her father died, and her mother tried to raise her. She was a good mother but was suicidal. After one of the mom's attempts, she died in the hospital. Now, she has no relatives.
A wave of guilt washes over the young woman. She's never revealed any of this to Ky because she's ashamed. Ky is a coder who doesn't make much money and likes to play in a band. Even though she is married, she has told nobody about her family, even her friends. She never even wanted to be a mother after witnessing her parent's marriage. She also recalls how she never intended to get pregnant. This only occurred after her birth control didn't work. She decided to keep the baby for some reason, but she doesn't know why. Later, the doctors revealed that they were able to stabilize the baby. They return the baby to her, and she tries to nurse it. However, more issues arise. The baby refuses to nurse. The woman asks Ky to call their friends over, and their friends bring the young couple food. Eventually, the young mother finally gets the baby to nurse. After staying in the hospital for so long, the young woman is anxious to leave. One of the couple's friends, an intelligent, career woman, comes to help the couple move. She asks the young woman the baby's name. She reveals that they haven't named the baby since they didn't think it would survive. In the end, they decide to call the baby Adam. The young couple goes home, and the baby cries throughout the car ride. When they go to the house, the couple collapses on the bed. The young woman finally decides to tell Ky the truth about her parents.
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