F.A.Q.s
By Allegra Goodman, first published in The New Yorker
A college sophomore returns home after breaking up with a serious boyfriend, sending her parents into a flurry of worry over her listless behavior. But who is really taking care of whom?
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Phoebe, a staunch environmentalist and college sophomore, has returned home after breaking up with her boyfriend. Her parents hover over their only child, asking questions, buying food for her, and worrying endlessly. Phoebe stays in bed for many hours a day, hardly eating. Her parents wonder if she needs therapy. Phoebe doesn't want anything, feeling "disembodied, ghostly."
Listening to her parents argue about her at night, Phoebe thinks about how she had always been the one to hold the family together—working hard at all her extracurriculars and doing well. She'll get an internship, she thinks, but never starts at it. Her father eventually loses his cool, telling her to pull herself together. A few days later, Phoebe's aunt and uncle come over with their two boys. They ask about Phoebe's violin, and are upset when she explains that she's quit playing. Her grandmother's violin had been given to Phoebe because she played, and her cousins had received nothing.
That night Phoebe finds herself feeling guilty over the forgotten violin and ends up sleeping with it on the couch downstairs. The next day, she goes for a short walk, carrying the violin, then makes a large amount of lumpy granola. The following day, she takes a bus to the nearest college and sits on the steps, with the violin by her side. She rebuffs her mother's offers to sign her up for violin lessons again. The next day she goes into the city, and sits in the train station, watching people. She nearly loses the violin, and after that mishap opens it up and starts playing rough scales and bits of Bach, trying to regain her old knowledge.
She begins to do this every day, and is surprised to find a few dollars in her case. She spends this money on cheap treats in the station, a donut, or hot chocolate, the kind of empty calories she had always abstained from. Her parents wonder what she is doing all day, but she deflects the questions. She cleans out the house, which her mother hates but her father cheers on. She has a guy come over to the house to give them an estimate on solar panels for their roof, and tries to convince them to ride public transportation rather than driving. Her father complains about her dogmatism but her mother sees it as a return to herself.
The busking is finally uncovered when her Uncle Steve finds her by chance one day in the station. Her parents know almost immediately, and though Phoebe tries to avoid them, three days later she sees them filming her with their phones. They clap as she finishes, embarrassing her. They want to get lunch, spend time in the city, but Phoebe tells them no. She has to go home, figure out classes and housing for college. She can't take care of her parents forever.
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