Run, Run Away, Brother
By John Campbell Smith, first published in Yale Review
After a man thinks he sees his long-dead brother on the subway, he recollects their relationship to determine why he still imagines his brother as a failure rather than a hero who gave his life for his country in World War II.
Author
Published in
Year
Words
Collections
Plot Summary
Steve is a thirty-one year-old war veteran living in New York City in the 1950s. On his way to work on the subway, he thinks he sees his younger brother Jimmy in the crowd. His brother, however, died when he was an eighteen-year-old serving in the Navy during World War II. Steve is used to mistaking strangers for his brother, but what he finds strange is that he always imagines Jimmy as a twenty-nine year-old and a failure, as if time had not stopped for him when he died. Steve had always been the more successful of the two siblings. He did better in school, was well-behaved, and had a better physique than Jimmy. But although Jimmy was always getting into trouble, he seemed to receive more love and affection than Steve. Steve remembers when he and his brother were still young and hadn't really been exposed to the outside world. He had been his younger brother's protector, holding his hand to make sure they never got lost and always being there for him. But as they got a little older, they began to grow apart. Once, Jimmy was being bullied by other kids, and when Steve stepped in to defend him, the kids started bullying him as well. In this moment, he saw Jimmy as the problem and he ceased to protect him. For much of their childhood, Jimmy was ostracized by other kids. Over time, they grew apart. Steve had been a part of the in-group, but when he found a love of reading and devoted himself to his studies, he lost some friends, but was still respected. Jimmy, on the other hand, learned to act out and be rebellious in order to win friends, causing him to get into trouble. He eventually enlisted in the Navy in order to get permission to quit school. He had planned to sign up with some friends, but they backed out when Jimmy was already committed. When Jimmy was departing for deployment, Steve and his parents drove to the train station, but got there a little late, in time to see him through the departing train's window, but not in time to say goodbye. This was the last Steve ever saw of his brother because he enlisted in the Army shortly after, and was always in Europe when Jimmy was on leave. The news of Jimmy's death reached him in Europe, but it felt like just another casualty of the war. Steve had a hard time grieving his brother's death, and he feels guilty about not being kinder to him. He had come to realize just how kind Jimmy had been to others, which is why he received forgiveness readily and why he got more affection from their parents. Back on the subway, Steve wishes the stranger who he thought was his brother would look his way once more, just for an instant, so that maybe he could repair their relationship before Jimmy is lost forever.