The Angel of the Tenderloin
By James Redwood, first published in Notre Dame Review
A Vietnam War veteran grapples with guilt over his wartime offenses. As memories from his past threaten to overwhelm him, he risks his legal career to try and rinse the blood from his hands.
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Mansfield is a middle-aged associate attorney at a corporate law firm in San Francisco. One of the partners, Vachin, tasks Mansfield and another associate, Johnson, with scouring all of the files from 1986 for one of their biggest clients, Aldizel Optics. At the end of the day, Mansfield goes home. His apartment complex mostly houses Vietnamese refugees, and Mansfield shares a bathroom and a young maid with one of the families. They get along despite their cultural differences, but the family wonders why a well-dressed professional with a fancy car would choose to live in such a rundown area. That night, Mansfield is obsessively scrubbing the maid’s clothing in the bathroom when his neighbor walks in. She notices his suspicious behavior. The next day at work, Mansfield and Johnson resume their assignment. They set aside documents that seem to prove Aldizel’s innocence; they will be printed in a newspaper to restore public faith in the brand. Mansfield scans each yellowed page for information related to the federal suit against Aldizel. Suddenly, he comes across an incriminating piece of evidence: a contract between Visioncraft Industries, one of Aldizel’s competitors, and the Iranian government. Gunshots from two decades ago echo in Mansfield’s head. Johnson steps out for coffee, and Mansfield slips the document into Johnson’s pile of papers that are headed for the newspaper. Mansfield feels guilty for deceiving his co-worker, but he can’t stand idly by while Aldizel gets away with murder. The next morning, Vachin reveals that Johnson has been fired. A close friend at the newspaper intercepted the contract, and Vachin was able to retrieve it before anyone else at the press found out. Mansfield feigns surprise as Vachin discloses what he’d already deduced: Aldizel plans to acquire Visioncraft. The latter sold weapons to Iran for use in their war against Iraq. The profits will fund the right-wing Nicaraguan Contra rebels. Now that the Senate is investigating the Iran-Contra Affair, Aldizel officials would face imprisonment if this deal became public. Vachin thanks Mansfield for his discretion, and he returns to work with no chance for atonement. At home that night, Mansfield feels hopeless. He lost his opportunity to help stop the same type of violence that weighs on his conscience. In the tub, he fervently scrubs the Vietnamese maid’s clothes. They’re already clean, but he still sees bloodstains on the fabric. He recalls a young girl he shot all those years ago in the war. She’d be about the maid’s age if he hadn’t killed her. Soon, the maid walks in, sees the man touching her underwear, and flirts with him. Mansfield rebuffs her advances, so she assumes he’s gay. He plays along, thankful for an out. Left alone in the bathroom, Mansfield thinks of the little girl’s eyes, which had pierced his soul as he gazed at her through the lens of his rifle scope.
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