For Each of Us
By Jack Y. Bryan, first published in American Prefaces
Plagued by an aggressive case of pneumonia and haunted by a dying neighbor, a sanatorium patient is advised to have his ribs resectioned, thus sending him into a panicked reflection on the inevitability of death.
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Plot Summary
As his doctor is checking on him for the day, Paul Howison keeps making eyes at his nurse. After his doctor inspects his lungs, he recommends Paul have his ribs resectioned to collapse the infected lung that bore the brunt of his pneumonia. Due to the doctor’s upcoming transfer, he asks Paul to make a quick decision on whether to proceed with the operation. He tells Paul he’ll likely recover and that he himself had undergone resection once. Paul studies the doctor’s misshapen form caused by the operation. After he and the nurse leave, Paul listens to the sounds of his neighbor across the hall moaning under the strain of recovering from a resection. In the evening, one of the patients stops by Paul’s room to convince him not to undergo the surgery. He claims that rest and non-invasive methods have served many people just fine, though Paul is skeptical of how well those methods will work with his cavity. Then, the patient mentions that Paul might not be as much of a man as he was before the operation, finally shifting Paul’s mind to avoiding the procedure.
Later, the nurse, Laura, stops by Paul’s room to take his temperature. They flirt, and he tells her he’s thinking of foregoing the procedure. Although Laura disapproves, she gives him a massage and stays with him after her shift to read to him. During their time together, Paul is struck by his desire for her, but knows his pneumonia prevents them from being together. He contemplates how the scars and deformity following the resection would further distance her from him, then thinks of the massive sprawl of the universe compared to his small human life. Soon, the sanatorium’s lights darken for its patients to sleep, and Laura leaves. However, Paul can’t fall asleep, kept awake by the constant moaning of his across-the-hall neighbor and his debate over receiving surgery. The moaning grows more unstable, and soon Paul hears the doctor and two nurses rush to the patient. The man dies, and Paul thinks of how lucky he is to be living. His mind then turns to the inevitability of death, but Laura visits him. Together, they watch the sun rise, but Paul is primarily fixated on Laura’s figure.
Suddenly, Paul points out the constant decay happening around them. He tells Laura that when his time comes, he wants his body sent to his father’s homestead and buried under a tree. She tries to kiss him, or (in his eyes) heal him with love, but he stops her. She begs him to take the procedure, as it’s his best chance of survival. Despite trying to convince him that she will love him no matter the shape of his body, Paul is unwilling to believe her. He tells her to remember his request about his corpse and to communicate with the doctor about his indecision. Laura knows she should leave for her shift but can’t bear to.
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