The Silence
By Haruki Murakami, first published in The Elephant Vanishes
In an airport terminal, a former boxer recounts to his coworker about the time he punched a classmate outside of the ring and the traumatic events that transpired.
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Plot Summary
While they wait for their flight to Niigata, the man asks Ozawa if he’s ever punched someone in an argument. Ozawa is taken aback by the question and falls silent. The question had come up after Ozawa shared stories about his boxing days, from middle school to university. The two men are business partners and the man cannot imagine Ozawa as a boxer because of his extraordinarily quiet and calm disposition.
Lots of planes are delayed today because Niigata is snowed in and the airport is full of people. After a moment of silence, Ozawa answers the question with “basically no.” He explains that he only ever hit someone without gloves when he was in eighth grade and knew very few boxing techniques. He got angry with someone and threw a punch. He had gotten into boxing because his uncle owned a training gym and started commuting there every weekend. Ozawa explains that he’s grown through experiencing the solitary struggle and loneliness in boxing, although he wishes he could forget it altogether.
Ozawa had hit his classmate Aoki. Aoki was a model student who was popular among teachers and peers alike, except for Ozawa, who hated him because of Aoki’s ego. Ozawa was the exact opposite of Aoki: reticent, received mediocre grades, and friendless. One day, Ozawa defied all expectations and received the top grade in his English class on an exam. Aoki felt challenged and spread a rumor that Ozawa had cheated on the exam. Fuming, Ozawa found Aoki at recess and asked him about the lie. When Aoki moved to brush past him, Ozawa reflexively punched him in the face and Aoki fell to the ground. Ozawa regretted his action, but not enough to tell his classmate and instead just walked away.
That afternoon, Aoki wasn’t present in class and Ozawa began to feel horrible. He realized how lonely he was and hated Aoki for making him realize this. For the rest of the school year, Aoki ignored him and went on to receive the best grades in all his classes while Ozawa dedicated his time to the gym.
The boys didn’t face each other again until their senior year when they were in the same class together again. The summer after their final year, Ozawa’s classmate Matsumoto committed suicide, leaving behind a note that he didn’t want to go to school anymore. After this happened, his fellow classmates became cold towards Ozawa and when he asked his headmaster, the man asked Ozawa if he’d every hit Matsumoto. Matsumoto had reportedly been getting hit at school, and the headmaster told him that if he didn’t admit to the crime he would get the police involved.
Ozawa expects Aoki told the headmaster he boxed and had hit him once, and three days later the police bring him in for questioning. He denied the accusations, but the mere fact that he was questioned incriminated him in his classmates’ eyes. Ozawa decided to quit boxing and isolate himself from his parents. He imagines punching Aoki over and over in his head and then he would feel nauseous, but he is unable to stop.
A month later, Ozawa runs into Aoki on a busy train ride to school. When Aoki smirks at him, Ozawa initially feels angry but then feels pity for him. After graduating, Ozawa went to a university in Kyushu.
Ozawa let out a big sigh after recounting this story to his coworker and said that people who go through experiences like that are changed men. Still, he says that there are times where he is overcome with emotion and his wife has to comfort him for hours. He finds it disturbing how manipulative and smart people like Aoki are. His coworker asks if he wants to drink and they head to the bar.