In the mornings, an aging barber named Mickey sits outside his shop and ogles passing women, imagining sexual scenarios with them. One morning, he watches a pretty crying woman pass by and dreams of having sex with her, revising the encounter in his head each time he thinks of a possible obstacle. He goes beyond sexual fantasy and begins imagining her moving in with him and his elderly mother Ma, who has rules such as no smoking or sexual relations in her house. Despite all this, the woman’s imagined flaws get to him and he becomes angry with her, retreating back into his barbershop.  The next morning, Mickey has to attend Remedial Driving School, which his mother’s demands make him late for. There amidst the teacher’s many horrific speeding scenarios, he notices a pretty young woman who he begins to fantasize about again, especially when she seems to return his attention. He starts to think she may even look past his lack of toes, which had cut off a burgeoning relationship in the past. These fantasies are cut short when she stands up and he sees that she’s overweight, and even though she wants to talk he fakes ignorance to her interest until she leaves. At a wedding reception later that month, Mickey’s uncle makes fun of his lack of success with women, to which the barber takes furious offense considering his past relationships have all had some unforgivable flaw. He then notices he too is growing old and unattractive. Mickey receives a card from one of the Driving School students, Jenks, who wants to have a reunion. He wants to go, but his Ma tries to bully him out of it by insisting that he has to wait on her girlfriends who are coming over tomorrow. That night, he dreams of the pretty girl from class slimmed down, and resolves to go to the bar to talk to her. He plans to use his “Free Cut and Coffee” trick, which worked before on a woman with crow’s feet that he initially found attractive but soon came to disgust him. The pickup line works on the girl, whose name is Gabby, and they make out on her car after setting a date for breakfast the next morning. When he gets back home, though, his mother’s old lady friends make fun of her for being fat, and the next morning his Ma again tries to convince him not to go. GaHe resolves to go anyway and walks to meet her, but when he gets closer realizes again that she is overweight. The barber decides that no matter; he will just tell her frankly that she is fat, and she’ll work to lose the weight until she’s slim. With that hope in mind, he meets her in front of his barbershop and they begin their date.