The Axe, the Axe, the Axe
By Eric Wilson, first published in The Massachusetts Review
A Stanford undergraduate student in the 1950s attempts to make friends and work out his professional goals. His academic and life path become drastically altered when his Hungarian roommate falls into depression.
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Plot Summary
In the 1950s, Greg Kirtland enters his first year at Stanford University as an English major. He becomes exposed to an environment of drinking, partying, and school traditions. Greg suffers from strabismus, a condition that makes his left eye slightly turned left, making him self-conscious when he meets new people. In his first year, he rooms with a quiet and boring student named Doug. Greg also dates a girl named Laurel, who eventually stops returning his calls, and they never go out again. Greg soon becomes disillusioned with his English major as he studies for his classes and frequently gets drunk with friends. During the spring, Greg rushes for a fraternity but isn't chosen. A new English class causes him to start getting B's, and Greg gets discouraged by his professor's negative feedback on his writing. After finals, he switches his major to Business Administration. During the move-in for his second year, Greg has a new roommate, Sandor, an immigrant from Budapest, Hungary. Greg also begins to date a girl named Rubybell. While Greg and his entire residence hall floor take a liking to Sandor, Sandor falls into depression because of his stress about his family in Budapest during the ongoing Hungarian Revolution. Eventually, Sandor was in unbearable distress during midterms season. One day, while Greg was cramming for his exams, he finds Sandor bloody and crawling in their room after his suicide attempt. After Sandor is sent to a mental hospital, Greg experiences daily nightmares of Sandor dying and feels unsettled every day, beginning to do poorly in his classes. Greg drops his Business Administration major and remains undeclared. Greg soon finds out Sandor committed suicide in the mental hospital by hanging. Greg is able to get housing at his father's former fraternity and begins to write for the Stanford Daily newspaper. However, he continues to wake up every night screaming from nightmares about Sandor. Later that semester, Greg ceases having nightmares, and the memory of Sandor feels distant. He had become a notable writer for the school newspaper but did not want to try to write new features that his editor advised. Greg reflects on his English professor who made him change his major and thinks that her criticism was right about him.