Penance
By Elsie Singmaster, first published in The Pictorial Review
A Confederate officer begrudgingly fights in the American Civil War until his disastrous last battle helps seal the fate of the war for good. After the war, he constantly repents for his critical mistakes until, decades later, he comes to a shocking revelation about the fateful battle.
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A twenty-six-year-old Confederate army officer named Buckingham hates the war he is fighting in. He eagerly enlisted for the war, falsely thinking it would be short lasting. However, he is a skillful officer, well-known in various cities, and considered handsome by all the women he encounters. As the war trudges on, Buckingham feels impatient and distressed. He had previously planned for his life after the war to be fulfilling and allow him to delve into meaningful activities. However, he now feels his youth is fleeting and sees a lost and depressing future for himself. His family's valuables were all sacrificed for the cause of the war, and his home was destroyed. Buckingham considers that he'd rather be living as an average father and husband in a peaceful time than as a prominent military officer in times of war. Buckingham and his exhausted, malnourished, and inadequately clothed men grimly head to camp. Buckingham rides with his aide, a younger boy named Arnold. When he arrives at the war council, the officers deduce that the enemy withdrew from the previous battle but was not defeated. They assign Buckingham's troops to make the opening charge of the following morning's battle. They agree this will be ideal for a young officer with an eager and diligent division. Buckingham does not picture any complication or failure for the battle. He rides back with Arnold to camp and heads to a house at the headquarters where he is meant to sleep. There, he is greeted by a woman and her young, timid son. A beautiful girl named Minnie then guides him to his room and makes him feel excited. After Minnie bids him goodnight, Buckingham struggles to fall asleep as he thinks of her. Buckingham wakes up the next morning excited to see Minnie, who brings him his breakfast. Buckingham's division prepares for the day's long-anticipated march as he speaks to Minnie in his room. Half an hour later, Arnold bursts into the bedroom to tell Buckingham the men are late and finds him kissing Minnie. As Buckingham gets up, Minnie clings to his arm and begs him not to go. Buckingham goes out to command his division after a brief hesitation. He leads his men in the opening charge, but they are overcome by the heavily prepared and reinforced enemy. The division experiences many deaths and is forced to retreat. This defeat marks "the beginning of the end of war." After the war, Buckingham lives in a quaint cottage and views his life as a penance. He works all day tending its fields and torturously thinking of Minnie. Buckingham cannot shake the guilt he feels about leading a delayed charge. He feels that the deaths of many men are in his hands, and suffers from suicidal thoughts. Thirty years later, Buckingham accepts a request by the national government to return to his former battle site to explain the details of his division's opening charge. A talkative guide who is unaware of Buckingham's identity leads him to the site. The guide reveals to Buckingham that he was living in the house by the battle. Buckingham realizes he is the son of the owner he was greeted by. The guide tells Buckingham something he claims is secret knowledge no one knows: that his cousin Minnie, who was attending to the division's officer that morning, deliberately sabotaged the battle by delaying him from advancing his division on time. He humorously comments that the battle could have ended differently if Buckingham was on time. Buckingham dismisses the guide and stands at the site of the battle, reminiscing on the countless deaths he feels responsible for. He tells himself that now, he has sufficiently repented for the catastrophe of his battle charge.
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