If You Sing Like That for Me
By Akhil Sharma, first published in The Atlantic Monthly
A depressed Indian woman trapped in a decades-long, passionless marriage recalls the one day when she truly loved her husband.
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Plot Summary
At twenty-six, Anita has fallen into marriage. Her new husband, Rajinder, makes her do nothing she does not want to do except for sex and treats her generally well. Still, they feel nothing for one another from the day they move into their New Delhi flat. She has never thought much of herself—ugly, unremarkable, talented, without desire. Asha, her sister, is different; she is a budding scientist with a Ph.D. in microbiology who is in love with her American husband. All Anita ever wanted out of marriage was someone who could make her a different person. Instead, she gets an arranged match with Rajinder, a short, homely, successful banker. The betrothal ceremony follows, as does the wedding itself three months later. As she remembers the ceremony, she thinks back to her parents, who only briefly loved each other. The death of their infant son drove them apart years ago, and her father copes via drinking and gluttony. It is this, in fact, that precipitates his heart attack seven months after Anita's marriage. As he lies recovering in the hospital, his crushing loneliness shocks her even more than her mother and sister's callous attitudes toward mediocrity and love.
After a heartfelt conversation with her father, Anita goes home. When she wakes up, she realizes that she is inexplicably in love with her husband. He arrives the following day, and they spend a wonderful evening together. After they have sex, however, Rajinder callously dismisses Anita as below him, as undeserving of his love. All he can talk about is his career. Anita can only sit in bed and feels increasingly cold by the minute.
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