Home is the Hero
By Bernard Malamud, first published in Atlantic Monthly
One winter in Vermont, a middle-aged biographer struggles with depression caused by his desire to have an affair. To cope, he goes on long walks, but one day he finds himself in weather much worse than the misery in his mind.
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Plot Summary
William Dubin, a middle-aged biographer, lives with his wife Kitty in the Vermont countryside. Despite celebrating his birthday and hoping that his daughter will come visit during her break at college, the winter is a difficult time for Dubin, and he slips into a state of depression that keeps him from working. Kitty advises him to see a therapist, but Dubin is confident that he has enough wisdom about life to solve his problems on his own. He decides to take long walks and adhere to a strict diet. These coping strategies do little to help him; and his mental health is beginning to take a toll on his relationship with his wife. Kitty keeps trying to help him, but Dubin doesn't want any help. Internally, he knows what the source of his depression is. When he went abroad to Italy, he met with a girl named Fanny and almost had an affair with her. In the ensuing months, he has come to regret his decision, as he still desires her. He believes that if he tells his wife about it, the depression will cease, but he's not ready to do that. One day, his wife advises him to not go on his daily walk due to an approaching blizzard, but Dubin can't handle being inside and alone with his thoughts all day, so he goes for a walk anyway. His usual route is a circle, but on this day he decides to walk the circle backwards. After getting far from home, he realizes that he doesn't recognize the surrounding area; he is lost. He searches for a road or house, but the storm gets worse, so he decides to take cover under a tree to regain his strength. After waiting for some time, a snow owl alights near him and he realizes that the storm has subsided. He walks until he finds a wall that he can follow, and then a road. After walking all day in the snowy cold, he finally sees a car that will save him: it's his upset wife.