A young Chinese-American woman cries when she learns that her friend Julia has died. Julia was initially supposed to take care of her dogs, but after Julia didn't respond to her texts, the woman found Julia's obituary online. The woman didn't know Julia well but was aware of her depression and that she had two boys. The woman realizes that she hasn't cried in a long time, despite all the death she has experienced. A year ago, her mom died from an illness; later that year, her father died from Tuberculosis. However, before her father and mother's death, her son had committed suicide. The woman thinks back to how she couldn't tell her parents about their grandson's death. She remembers trying to tell her dad before he went into surgery. She thought it would be best as he would undergo anesthesia and wouldn't remember what she told him. However, in the end, she never told her parents. She then recalls that when she was a high schooler, she had attempted suicide. She failed, but when her parents found out, they didn't understand why she had tried. The woman believes that she and her father have always had a disconnect. Her father had told her that he loved her and had hugged her only one time in her life. Additionally, whenever she cried as a child, her father told her to smile instead so people wouldn't think she was sad. This makes the woman recall her father's history. Her father was born in Zhejiang Province and grew up extremely poor. Her father excelled in school, escaped his impoverished village, and went to the city to pursue a college education. However, problems arose when he became diagnosed with Tuberculosis, and he taught mathematics at high school. He later got a job at a company, but the woman never knew what he did. The woman goes to China when her father dies to remember her parents. There she wonders if it was cruel not to tell her father about her son's suicide. She also wonders if her father would've cried at the news.