Malcolm talks to groom Rob at the wedding reception he is attending at a country club. He and Rob have been friends since high school. Now, Rob is twenty-seven-years-old and getting married; in his words, he is a "grown up." He tells Malcolm that they are not kids anymore, that he needs to tell Rob what he got he and his wife as a wedding present after Malcolm jokes that he got them an electric dildo. Rob takes the two glass of champagne that Malcolm is holding away, and Malcolm finally relents that he got them a Sports Illustrated football game.

Malcolm leaves Rob and goes to the golf course, where one of the boys from high school gives him a business card and asks him if he needs help with investing. Malcolm tells the man he has no money and walks away, adding the business card to his pockets with the nine others he has been given by other people from high school during the reception. Malcolm smokes a joint of "elephant weed" which his friend brought back from Vietnam. Rob's dad, also named Rob, comes over and talks to Malcolm. The man is also inebriated but calls Malcolm crazy when the younger man says he is not sure he wants to get married.

When Malcolm returns to the reception, he begins giving out the business cards to random women and asking them if they will marry him. He gets rid of all the cards, then goes to the bathroom, not sure if he needs to pee or puke. Rob comes into the bathroom and tells Malcolm to behave after hearing about Malcolm's shenanigans; Malcolm agrees to do so, but not long after, he realizes he cannot remember his own name. He cannot pinpoint how slow or fast time is passing and cannot tell if he needs to throw up, so he continues sitting on the toilet. When he finally gets up and leaves the bathroom, the reception is over, and all the wedding guests are gone.