The Piano Tuner
By Peter Meinke, first published in Atlantic Monthly
A husband living in suburbia quarrels with an increasingly unruly piano tuner in his home, all the while eagerly anticipating his wife's return.
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Plot Summary
In an American suburb, a piano tuner is at the home of a married couple to fix their piano. The couple is quite musical, the wife a prolific harp-player for a wife, and the husband a decent pianist. Though the wife arranges the appointment, the husband is the only one home when the tuner arrives. The husband is a literary critic, and intends to work while the piano is tuned, but constantly finds himself distracted by the piano tuner, whom he instantly doesn't trust. The husband fears that the tuner will attempt to steal one of the various invaluable, cultural items and artifacts they keep around their home, so he opts to keep an eye on the man. Aspects about the tuner—like being fat, unattractive, and working-class—make the husband uneasy. Likewise, when a Black man with vitiligo shows up a bit later, the husband feels distressed at people who are unlike him, despite the Black man insisting that the only difference between them is that the husband is more diseased.
The piano tuner consistently informs the husband that the piano has more and more problems, despite the tone-deaf husband believing that the piano was perfectly fine when he played it. Though the husband has notoriety for being a harsh critic, and the piano tuner makes him uncomfortable, he is unable to ask him to leave because he's bad at face-to-face interaction, unlike his wife. Instead, the husband attempts to be cordial, offering the tuner a bourbon and conversing with him. All the while, the tuner says he must stay later and later, to the husband's dismay. The tuner says that he once had an affair with the wife of a good friend, and upon finding out, the friend up and left his wife and their four children. The husband tries to ease the tuner off the alcohol, afraid of having a drunk in his home, but the tuner is audacious, going for the bourbon bottle himself and walking around the house while the husband listens with intent from the safety of his study. In his study, pondering where his wife has been all night, the husband notices on his desk that there isn't even a photo of his wife in the home, only his son who ran away.
Eventually, the husband has had enough of the drunken tuner, who has begun playing tunes loudly, and asks him to leave, saying that he can finish another time. Suddenly infuriated at being interrupted, the tuner locks the husband in his study. The husband slams against the door until it opens, and the tuner prances upon him, choking him with a piano wire, and threatening even more harm if the husband interrupts again. Sobbing in his study, the husband finally hears his wife come home, only able to exclaim interjections.