Ben
By Pati Hill, first published in Paris Review
After his army friend finds a girlfriend, an American veteran subsisting on the G.I. Bill is left on his own to search for meaning in his life in post-war Paris.
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Plot Summary
Ben Burton has just fought a war, and now he wants to enjoy himself. Along with his friend Hank, who he met in the army, he moves into a hotel in Paris just after the end of World War II. Hank, however, puts a stop to their grand plans of studying, concert-going, and language learning when he rekindles his relationship with Dorothy, his ex-girlfriend. They move in together almost immediately, and Ben begins to visit them for dinner once in a while.
After one such meal, Ben reminisces that his life has not been a romantic one. His only serious relationship was with a woman named Dora, who he met while walking home from an art class. Eventually, she fell ill, and he fell in love. After their passion cooled, he left to fight in the war and never returned.
In Paris, Ben leads a simple, rather lonely lifestyle. He learns French, eats, visits Parisian churches, and draws. He makes friends with Laura, a woman who moves into the hotel room across the hall, but she comes to hate him after he tries to kiss her. A Spanish painter on his floor becomes a similarly trifling friend. For most of the time, he is isolated in his hotel room, alone in his routine.
For months, he becomes a full-time, penny-pinching tourist, and Hank and Dorothy, who he sees once a week, are his only real friends. Even as he resents his isolation and the fact that Hank left him for Dorothy, he struggles to fight off the sensation that in disavowing human connection and throwing away all vestiges of spontaneity, he has lost something beautiful. Only his routine can numb the pain.
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