If God is Watching
By Mikki Kendall, first published in Revelator
In the early-twentieth-century South, a black teenager discovers she has a magical power. But when race and gender-related violence violate her existence, she must decide whether to use her power to protect the people she loves or to harm the people who hate.
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Plot Summary
In the early-twentieth-century South, a young black woman reflects upon the first time she harmed someone with her power. Her parents were out when a strange white man knocked on the door. At first, he inquired about land her family owned that he wished to buy. But as the protagonist attempted to send him on his way, noting that he could talk to her father later when he returned, the man forced himself into the house and asked for a meal.
The protagonist cooked up some hearty meatloaf, which the man ate in a disgusting manner. The protagonist offered him cake, too, as the man kept eyeing it. After cleaning up, the protagonist assumed the man would leave. But unfortunately, he did the opposite, coming onto her. The man then harassed and began to assault her.
The protagonist struggled with the man until she noticed that he had stopped moving, as though he were frozen in place. Still in shock, the protagonist shouted for the man to leave. “I hope you die,” she screamed.
When her father returned, he asked her about the strange man Reverend Mosby saw approach their house. He revealed that the man had killed himself, crashing his car in the creek. Then, the protagonist fainted.
She woke up to her mother comforting her and told her everything. Her father joined them. The protagonist’s parents hinted that she possessed an ability to successfully persuade people to do whatever she asked after eating her cooking. Her father commented that his aunt had the same ability.
Three years later, the protagonist followed her mother’s footsteps and began learning how to care for people, including the young and the ill. Just like her food, the protagonist’s medicine seemed to have magical properties.
Boys were not interested in the protagonist because they had trouble looking her in the eye. She did not mind much, though. When her brother announced he was going to Chicago, the protagonist echoed the sentiment. She did not want her power to cause her parents any more trouble.
Upon getting to the city, the protagonist learned that her brother also possessed a magical ability, though he attributed his good fortune to luck. He was able to win a round of dice, then score keys to a nicer place than the boarding house where they were planning to live.
The neighborhood was diverse and harmonious for the most part. There was a shop on the lower floor, and the protagonist took it over. She met friends while working there. The protagonist worried that if her brother were to marry, her whole life would change. But she soon learned from one of her friends that her brother was gay and dating a another man. The protagonist felt relieved.
It was 1919, and the race riots were raging in the neighborhood. When her brother’s boyfriend did not show up to the shop, the protagonist urged her brother to find him. Then, the protagonist went after them herself, wading into the crowd.
She spotted a snarling white man, attacking black folks. After he spewed racist language at her, she gave him a piece of her cake and advised him to leave. Then, she saw her brother limping toward her with his boyfriend. Her brother had been injured. She yelled at the rioters until they all left.
The protagonist reflects upon her earlier experience inadvertently killing a man. She hopes that saving the black folks in her neighborhood served as her atonement in the eyes of God.
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