Footnote to a Life
By Lloyd Morris, first published in Harper's Magazine
The secretary of a deceased, celebrated author visits the house of the author's female friend and attempts to understand why the author devoted so much time to her.
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Plot Summary
Philip Leighton is the former secretary of the celebrated author Guy Varian, who is now dead. He is also the writer of Varian's biography. Leighton has been invited to the house of Isobel Fairlie, a friend of Varian's. As they are sitting down for coffee, Leighton discusses how after Varian went on a holiday with Isobel, he seemed to have aged ten years, and he was anxious to complete his book but did not before he died. Leighton laments on the last five years of Varian's life, which were a waste in his mind because he did not write and was instead focused on Isobel, which denied the world a literary masterpiece. Isobel asks Leighton why he did not trust her devotion to Varian, and why he has always disliked her. Leighton says he thinks Isobel was a destructive influence on Varian and distracted him from his work. However, he insists that he knows Varian did not love her, because Varian was a misogynist and had contempt for women. He says that he and Varian spoke of Isobel twice. On the first occasion, Varian was invited by friends to meet Isobel at dinner. Isobel had a peculiar reputation, because many great artists had devoted work to her, despite her lack of beauty. She supposedly had a great wit and talent for conversation, which had ensnared many men. Varian himself was dubious, so he wanted to meet her to confirm his own prejudices. Later that evening when he returned, Varian said that Isobel did live up to her reputation, and they had one of the best talks in years. One time Isobel came over for dinner, and Leighton was disappointed, because Varian just talked the whole time. Leighton tells Isobel that once Varian became close to her, he stopped working on his book, as he could not concentrate on it. He shut himself up in his study every afternoon, and Leighton assumed he was writing letters to Isobel. However, he reiterates again that he did not think Varian was in love. He tells Isobel it would have been better if Varian had been in love, but instead he was a conquest of Isobel and added to her collection of artists, which cost the world a masterpiece. Isobel is upset, but asks Leighton to read the books she has left on his bedside table. When he gets up to his room, Leighton looks at the books. The books are filled with pages of Varian's handwriting, and they are years of letters to Isobel that he never sent her until after his death. In the letters, Varian confesses his love to Isobel, and laments on her continuous rejections of his marriage proposals. In the final letter, Varian reveals that he knows Isobel's secret, which is that she does not possess the wit and art of conversation that everyone believes of her. Instead, she knows how to listen creatively, a gift which is the true source of Varian's admiration. He reveals that he will never tell Isobel this secret, because he does not want to crush Isobel if she believes in her intelligence. In the morning, Leighton asks Isobel why she rejected Varian's proposals. She reveals that she loved Varian, but believed that he only loved her because he though she was witty and intelligent. She could keep up this pretense for a few days at a time, but it would be shattered by living with him if they were married. She did not want to shatter his illusion. Now, she sees that her rejections were useless, because Varian actually loved her for who she was, unlike everyone else in her life. She wishes Varian had had the courage to tell her the secret, because she has known all along that her gift is not what everyone thinks it is.