Looking Into Nothing
By Kent Nelson, first published in Transatlantic Review
After a young man runs away and is said to be hiding in a canyon, his co-worker sets out to find him and ends up sharing his painful backstory of fear and lost opportunity.
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Plot Summary
A truck pulls up to two men standing at the edge of a canyon, and a man named Turner gets out of the truck, asking the other two, Barry and John, where Rail is. Barry and John explain that they heard Rail, a younger man they work with, crying in the canyon, and he has been gone for two hours after running away. Turner says that they need to find and help Rail, but John explains that Rail knows the way home, so they shouldn’t worry too much. Barry calls into the canyon, telling Rail that John is sorry for the rude way he spoke to him, but John comments he is not sorry. Barry sighs and says that he will wait for Rail alone and try to talk to him as Turner and John drive away. When the other men are gone, Barry pulls out his harmonica and tells Rail he will play a song for him. He plays “Oh, Susannah” and tells Rail about his own youth and how he was always so scared of everything. He also tells Rail that he once had a son with a married woman he met in a bar, which many people don’t know about him. After bringing up the past, Barry tells Rail that he will stay out all night to keep him company, but Rail should tell him if he wants Barry to leave. Barry waits for half an hour, wondering if Rail is even there. He begins to talk about the woman who had his son again, saying that she wanted to leave her husband for him. A sudden ten-minute storm washes through, soaking Barry. As it subsides, he says that he refused the woman’s offer to start a life together because they were too different and then takes out his harmonica again to play a song. In the end, Rail does not show himself, and Barry returns to the ranch where all the men live. A man named Turner says he received a call that Rail has been locked up after getting drunk and needed to be bailed out. As Barry changes out of his clothes, he thinks to himself that he doesn’t have to rush and Rail can wait a little longer.