What was Truly Mine
By Grace Flandrau, first published in Scribner's Magazine
A woman's chronic illness stirs up long-suppressed conflict within her family. As she helplessly listens to her husband and brother-in-law argue about the best treatments, she wishes she could be there to defend her troubled husband.
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A woman named Nellie wakes up in a hotel room, groggy from taking medicine. She hears Ed, her husband, and Milt, his brother, arguing outside the door over what is practical and best for Nellie. She hears a pause and knows Milt is lighting a cigarette to Ed's envy. Milt smokes but does not let it go into his lungs because he values a healthy body. He also does not drink nor go out with women. Nellie listens in agony as the men continue quarreling. Milt reminds Ed of past financial mistakes, which frustrates Ed. Nellie knows that Ed insults Milt in retort because he doesn't want to express the truth, that Nellie might die out in New Mexico, where Milt wants her to go for treatment. Ed cannot do much to change the trip because Milt paid for the costs of the doctors, the flight to New Mexico, and other related expenses. Milt doesn't believe much in illnesses because he is healthy himself. Nellie feels like Milt operates and speaks like a robot in his constant attempt to be practical, but she feels he has impulses and follies he doesn't realize. She questions what reason has to do with love and suffering. Milt enters the hotel room later that night, past midnight. He discusses Ed's issues with Nellie and says he will have to do the bare minimum to help him because of Ed's violent and abusive manners. Milt calls the doctors "alarmists" and says Nellie will get better soon when she goes to New Mexico. He advises Nellie to go alone and have Ed stay with him to find work and become sober. An intoxicated Ed enters the room and tells Milt he never wants to see him again. Milt asks Nellie if she needs anything, then leaves. Ed sits down and falls asleep in the hotel room. The next morning, Ed takes a shower and takes Nellie's temperature. He begins to rant about how Milt has him trapped and how he worries that Nellie will get worse. Nellie holds his hands and they lay by each other. Nellie feels her strength, will, and vision flow to him. Time feels like it becomes still, and the couple feels happiness engulf them. Nellie wants to tell Ed that they have this moment together and cannot possibly ask for more.
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