Coming to Terms
By Eileen Gunn, first published in Stable Strategies and Others (Tachyon Publications)
The estranged daughter of a writer visits his apartment to take care of his belongings after he passes away. She finds his lingering presence in the form of notes scattered throughout the room, and as she reads the words he has left behind, she tries to process his death and the lack of reconciliation in their relationship.
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A man lays on his deathbed and surrenders to the lack of control in his life. He begins to turn to his past for solace. Soon, he passes away. As a well-accomplished writer, he leaves behind books, essays, stories, and manuscripts that still gather attention and praise from society. His daughter arrives at his vacant two room apartment to clean up his belongings. Books fill the room. His daughter notices that there are some boxes left unpacked, since he had only recently moved into the apartment. Briefly, she suspects someone has broken in and taken some of her father's belongings. As she looks around the apartment, she finds notes stuck on objects with comments from her father. Each note she find evokes a memory of him. The daughter decides that she will handle the books first, and reflects on how she had once enjoyed reading as a child. However, she began to feel that reading was time consuming, and that books were rivals for her father's attention. Now, the books seem to extend her father's life. As she reflects on his death, the daughter realizes that, one day, someone will be in the same position as her; cleaning up after her own death. While she goes through her father's books, the daughter notices that the bookshelves are uncharacteristically messy. She wonders again whether someone has trespassed. She continues to go through her father's possessions, and comes across a photo of him as a boy. Later, she begins to read a book titled 'The Physics of Time Asymmetry,' until she dozes off. She is awakened by the sound of a nine-year-old boy, who comes in through the window. He begins to leaf through the books. When the daughter asks the boy repeatedly what he is doing, he suddenly leaps on her and begins to hit, kick, claw, and bite her. Eventually, he gains the upper hand and begins to strangle her, however, she manages to push him off. In doing so, she accidentally breaks his neck. She realizes that the child closely resembles her father when he was a child. Unable to identify the boy, she realizes that the only thing that truly embodies her father are the books which surround her. In 'The Physics of Time Asymmetry,' the daughter writes about how the mind and heart transcend time.
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