What's Important is Feeling
By Adam Wilson, first published in Paris Review
The crew's infested with mites, the Assistant Director's coked up, and the director hates the star, but one young man, thrilled to be assisting in his first-ever Hollywood film, is dazzled by every dysfunctional minute.
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Plot Summary
A young man and his friend Nathaniel recently graduated from film school. They're production assistants in a movie that they hope is their big break. The scriptwriter and associate producer, Felix, is rumored to be "a genius"; the script is, "in short, art." Early on, the production seems doomed, but the young man is star-struck when he meets Felix. Felix is irate; the young man procures him weed and a haircut to calm him. As Felix smokes, he complains that the film is going poorly, but the ending scene, wherein a cat stalks up the stairs, might save it. He makes the young man promise that he "won't let them fuck up the cat." The lead actress, Monica, refuses to leave her trailer one day. Only Felix convinces her otherwise. The young man imagines the magic, charismatic speech Felix must have given in that trailer to make the impossible happen. He shaves his head to match Felix's. Fed up with Felix, the assistant director tells the young man to get him off the set by leading him somewhere and faking an interview. In the interview, Felix rants that his career is dead, and that he is as out of control of his life as "a puppet with strings." Ultimately, the hired cat actor doesn't go up the stairs. It's replaced by a grip's cat. When the film goes to DVD, the production assistants throw a watch party. The film is laughable. The young man wishes to see the chaotic, rich production process instead; the silliness, the dysfunction. When the pivotal cat scene arises, a girl, Anne, rises and walks in front of the TV. Although the new cat nails the scene, the young man isn't watching; he is " in another movie, [himself] the star, Anne lit by the headlights of a passing cab."
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