Rememory
By Kristen Reynolds, first published in FIYAH
While trying to track down her missing daughter, a mother confronts the trauma of the violence that she faced at their separation.
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Plot Summary
The woman calls her father at a payphone. She asks him for money, specifically by selling her memories on the torture market, so that she can move throughout the Reach and find her daughter. They agree to meet in the Northern Reach, reachable by train. He asks her if this is the last time that she will resort to such means. She lies and says yes.
The woman stands on the train platform, with all of her equipment on, in order to protect her from UV radiation. She gets on after scanning the bar code on her wrist, but she takes off her protective goggles after briefly arguing with the train’s conductor about it. She also takes her glove off so that her blood can be tested. Afterward, she finds a nearly empty car to sit in. She dreams about her daughter, whom she was with before the U.S. bombed itself until it became nothing but the Reaches. She remembers how she transformed into a mutant, after which authorities separated them from each other. She screams her daughter’s name out loud, still dreaming of the day when she was tased and her daughter was taken away, after which the bomb was dropped.
In the train car, someone asks if the woman is okay, as she was just screaming and crying. She assures them that she’s fine. She goes back to sleep and tries to remember the birth of her daughter, though the memory fades. Eventually, she dreams of birthing her, after which someone tells her that she has to get off of the train car due to disturbance. When she blinks, she sometimes sees her sanctuary burning. Forcibly, she is sedated, taken off of the train, and put into a car where, according to its driver, she will be taken to the scientist.
Inside the building’s atrium, the woman meets the scientist, who inspects her. With the woman’s consent, the scientist asks her assistant to inject her with a drug to undo the sedation from before. They then go to the scientist’s office where the woman explains that she’s trying to get to the Northern Reach to find her daughter. The scientist says she knows survivors like her and may have the answers she’s looking for as long as she complies.
The scientist says that she can help the woman heal from her trauma, but she says she doesn’t need therapy. The scientist then says that she invented the technology which allows memories to be sold, after the bombing and uprising, which was hijacked by the government as a means of controlling the public. The woman accuses her of trying to redress her guilt, to which the scientist says that, again, she at least can help her find her daughter now as long as she complies.
The scientist says that, with a few days, she can process the woman’s memories and restore them to her, all while providing her accommodations and compensation. The woman agrees. In the first session, the scientist warns that the woman may physically act out while going through some of her memories. She then puts a mask on the woman, who is asked to think of a safe image she can go to when the other memories are too hard. At first, she thinks of her grandmother pulling her hair with a hot comb. She then thinks of nursing her daughter. When she wakes up, she explains what she saw.
For days, they continue doing more of the same. One day, she happens upon a memory of her mother, who was a revolutionary, whom she never got to meet, as she was told by her father that she died for her cause early on. When awakened, the woman asks what that was and quickly starts to panic. She cries, feeling herself cleansed of her trauma and in the company of joy.
When her treatment is done, the woman wonders if she’s complete enough for her daughter. The scientist assures her that she’s still healing and gives her a card, addressed to the Eastern Reach, where her daughter is, living with a foster family. Afterward, the woman makes a phone call to her father, telling him that she finally knows where her daughter is. Together, they agree to go get her.
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