The Only Way
By T.E. Wilderson, first published in Coolest American Stories 2023
After a tumultuous and difficult upbringing, a woman contemplates whether or not she should give up her newborn child for adoption.
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Plot Summary
A woman rationalizes to herself on why she decided to give away her baby. She already has four children of her own to take care of, all with the salary of being a McDonald’s assistant manager, though she has the help of her own foster mom too. Soon, two strangers, along with her adoption lawyer, will come to adopt her newborn baby as soon as she births it. The father of her child has since already signed away his parental rights, as he wants nothing to do with her or their child.
The woman recalls how she came to have four kids. One of her cousins and his girlfriend got involved with drugs and crime, after which their two kids were removed from their custody and put into hers. The woman also has two kids of her own, one from fifteen and the other from near the end of high school. Back then, while in a halfway house for pregnant women, the woman takes job skill classes and gets her GED, after which she gets a job at McDonald’s and gets promoted to assistant manager shortly after.
The woman also recalls the lives of her own parents. One day, her father vanishes, which puts her mother under financial stress, causing them to be homeless. One night, at age twelve, the woman wakes up in their car to see that her mother has been restrained by police and taken away. Eventually, she comes to learn more about her mother’s incarceration as her mother writes to her—sometimes with her aunt’s help—while she lives with a foster mom. When she goes through her teenage pregnancy, her mother castigates her over letter.
In two hours, the two strangers will come to adopt the woman’s baby. She thinks about how she doesn’t want to hear anything about the baby—or who he grows up into—from then on. She recalls his father, how he was unwilling to take care of a baby given that he already has to take care of his siblings and ill mother. After this pregnancy, they become quickly distant, which makes her upset, especially since she got along so well with his mother. She feels pain for all the other responsibility he shoulders in his own family. Meanwhile, she feels lucky for herself for having a foster mom, who celebrates her achievements and supports her with the children she has.
Half an hour is left before the strangers come to adopt. The woman thinks about what they’ll be like, resenting how classy and punctual they may turn out to be. She remembers how she accidentally saw her real mother once getting into a verbal altercation on a bus, though her real mother doesn’t see her sitting in the back of it. She remains glad about it, as she was carrying her second pregnancy at the time. Thinking back to the strangers, she knows that the man is an actuary and the woman will become a stay-at-home mother. She wonders if her ex’s mother even knows if she’ll become a grandmother this way. She reminisces on watching television with her ex, how good of a father he could have been if things were different. She wonders how she ever got involved with any of the men who got her pregnant. She tries not to be sad about how her children will never get to know any of their grandparents. All of a sudden, the woman wonders if she should actually keep her baby.
The woman’s cousin—whose two children she’s raising—arrives. Right away, she sees a gun tucked away in his waistband, which she gets upset at. Shortly after, the adoption lawyer comes in with the two strangers, who are intimidated by the woman’s cousin and his visible firearm. The adoption lawyer asks the woman if she’s ready to go, to which the cousin gets aggressive and says she doesn’t have to if she doesn’t want to. Soon enough, the cousin and two strangers are arguing back and forth about the adoption arrangement. Last minute, the woman decides that she can make it work with her child after all.
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