And This is How to Stay Alive
By Shingai Njeri Kagunda, first published in Fantasy Magazine
A girl's brother commits suicide and she relives the moments leading up to his death as if he is alive again in the present.
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Baraka describes the scene of his mother and sisters discovering his body after he killed himself. One of his sisters, Nyokabi, recalls how conversations at the funeral felt almost automatic. Baraka remembers an exchange between his mother and father regarding a fight he had gotten in at school; his father says his mother has raised him too soft. Baraka explains the fight was after he had been called a "shoga" for wearing eyeliner. Nyokabi googles symptoms of suicide; confused how she could've differentiated them from things everyone must've felt at some point. Kabi, Baraka's other sister, hears Baraka in the shower. She is shocked to see her brother alive since she had just seen his dead body. She googles time travel, seeing if maybe she has somehow gone back in time and can save her brother. Yet, soon she is brought back to the present to attend her brother's funeral and he is once again deceased. Nyokabi gives a eulogy at the funeral. Nyokabi and Kabi experience the passing of time differently in their grieving.
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