Fraternity brothers rally around their president, Caleb Newton, who they call Nutella. They discover that a girl he hooked up with has written a poem about Nutella prematurely ejaculating, and they call the girl God for her power to bring down the man they all look up to.

One brother, whose friends call him Oprah, secretly loves God's poem. He watches her become part of the frat's social fabric, elevated by her friendship with Nutella and apparent confidence beyond the usual status of girls who spend time there. Another frat brother, Five, goes home with God, but cannot sustain his erection; he confides his embarrassment in Oprah, but when the rest of the fraternity finds out, it only cements God's reputation.

Oprah has a wet dream about Nutella that night. The next day, God comes to a party, and Oprah observes that the rest of the boys treat her like one of them, instead of trying to sleep with her. Oprah ends up going home with her, but when he asks her to recite her poem aloud, she becomes suspicious. She asks Oprah if he was thinking about Nutella during sex, and though Oprah denies it, he knows his reputation is ruined forever.