You'll Apologize If You Have To
By Ben Fowlkes, first published in Crazyhorse
After losing a fight, a professional wrestler navigates loss, guilt, and self-worth and explores his love-hate relationship with fighting.
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Plot Summary
Wallace, a professional wrestler, loses a fight in Florida and suffers a full knockout. Upon returning home to San Diego, Wallace wallows in his apartment for days, evading his coach's calls and forgetting to pick up his daughter from his ex-girlfriend's house. He goes on a walk near an estuary to smoke weed and a man picks a fight with him, says he and his kids can smell the weed from their house and it's a problem. Wallace uses a foot sweep to knock the man into the mud. He then feels anxious, worried he assaulted the man and that the man will call the cops.
Wallace then drives to his ex-girlfriend's house, where she lives with a rich lawyer. She's angry he missed his day to pick up their daughter. He tells her about the incident. They fight a bit, and he leaves. Passing his apartment complex, he sees a cop car. He doesn't want to be there if they come looking for him, so he drives to the gym. His coach is angry at him for not returning his calls. His coach implies it's time for Wallace to quit wrestling. Wallace remembers receiving a nice diamond watch back when he was making it big. He held onto it, as a reminder that he'd once succeeded and it wasn't all in his head.
Wallace goes to the house where the man he fought with near the estuary lives to apologize. Instead, and older woman opens the door. The woman is drunk and offers him a drink. She's the man's wife. The two sit on the patio looking at the ocean and talking about their lives. The woman is surprised that Wallace isn't coming to complain the man has wronged him. It seems the man lied about having kids, and is always picking fights. The man comes out onto the patio. Wallace thinks the ocean is delightful.
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