Lieutenant Wilby is a soldier in a war who suffers from flatulence. He passes gas and his superiors scold him for it. One of his superiors, Bromhead, didn't hear it, but the others tell him about it. This causes Wilby to be very embarassed.

Wilby passes gas while riding his horse. He hides it by urging his horse on, but then runs to the restroom.

Wilby recounts the mission he most recently went on in which he and his comrades fought five-thousand Zulus. He thinks about how he should be proud of his achievement, but his stomach is upset. His lieutenants request him and his squad for dinner, which he goes to.

Wilby spends a lot of time ensuring his outfit looks pristine before dinner. Those at dinner engage in light small talk before talking about the mission they recently completed. Bromhead considers them heroes for winning. They talk about women and how women should find them attractive, but their mothers warn them against it.

In their recent battle, their guns became so hot that the bullet casings that fell from them burned into their skin. They made walls of biscuit boxes and when the enemy would reach down the wall, they would burn themselves on the hot metal.

The Zulus used bayonets and would disembowel those who they killed-which makes many of the soldiers shudder when they think about it. At one point, they were surrounded but they were able to kill them off. They considered writing to the Zulus, apologizing for some of the deaths.

Wilby passes gas again and they share stories about farting. Bromhead also passes gas. He explains to them about a game he used to play involving passing gas. This story lightens the mood and Wilby finds it humorous.

After their meal, Bromhead and Wilby talk about passing gas as well as their fight against the Zulus. Bromhead eventually goes to sleep and tells his assistant to wake him to see his squad off before their patrol in the morning.