A woman ruminates on her first date with her boyfriend. On that date, he buys her a taco and spouts conspiracy theories involving summoning aliens using mirrored bowls of water. He begins to cry, proclaiming that the woman is the sign he has been waiting for, and that there is a message from God in her left eye. 

Throughout the story, the woman recounts more of her boyfriend's bizarre habits with disgust, scorn, and bitterness. She notes that he is particularly reliant on a crystal skull, which he rubs for good luck. 

Her boyfriend manages an apartment complex in a shadowy, crumbling neighborhood infested with black Egyptian crows, which her boyfriend hates. He orders and receives a gun to shoot them with. The woman tells him his agent has called with good news: he has been picked to audition for a beer commercial. While her boyfriend is at the audition, the woman paces around and prays to die. 

A strange couple comes to check out a vacant apartment that day, and eagerly asks to move in right away. The woman, Moon, has a third eye tattooed on her forehead. A couple days later, her boyfriend triumphantly learns that he has received an audition callback. On the day of the callback, the woman touches his crystal skull, making her boyfriend angry before he leaves. 

That afternoon, the woman helps the couple move in. They ask her about the boyfriend; she lies and tells them he beats her. Moon produces a black feather, and tells her to sleep with it under her pillow in order to decide whether she likes her boyfriend or not. 

That night, the woman dreams of a crying monkey who will not cheer up, no matter what she tries. She says, "I would have done anything...just to give that monkey one happy moment." 

Afterwards, the narration speeds forward. The woman's boyfriend calls her a scourge who ruins everything, then tells her he loves and forgives her for touching the crystal skull. He disappears occasionally and one day develops a methamphetamine addiction. In the present, the narrator thinks that she hates him, but also that he might have been "the man of her dreams."