How to Talk to Girls at Parties
By Neil Gaiman, first published in Fragile Things (William Morrow and Company)
When Enn and Vic go to a party to try to talk to girls, they find themselves flirting with highly intelligent alien life forms.
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Plot Summary
Fifteen-year-old Enn has only kissed three girls—all his sister’s friends. He is not good at talking to girls, but his friend Vic always has one around his arm. They attend an all-boys school in South London, but on a school trip to Germany they met some girls, who invite them to a party back in London. Vic drags Enn out to it, telling Enn he has to learn how to talk to girls at some point. They arrive at the party and meet the host, Stella, who had invited them. Enn, Coke in hand, watched Stella dance. He wanders around the party and meets Wain’s Wain, a human-looking alien of supreme intelligence. Wain’s Wain is the possession of Wain. She is a second generation creation, so she is sent off to learn about other planets and report back while the first generation luxuriates on her home planet. They hit it off until Vic interrupts. He has his arm possessively around Stella and lets Enn know that they are at the wrong party. He says it is fine though and that they should carry on having fun. He marches up the stairs with Stella. Enn continues wandering around the party and starts drinking Pernod, the drink he heard in a Velvet Underground song. Enn meets Triolet, who tells him her name is a verse form. She says she is a poem, a pattern, or a race of people whose world was swallowed by the sea. They get to talking and she leans over and whispers something in his ear. It sounds like hearing poetry in another language and he hears a cascade of liquid chords. But then Vic grabs him. They have to leave immediately. He drags Enn out of the house, leaving Stella behind. Vic’s voice breaks, “She was a-…“ he starts. He says he has gone as far as he dared. Enn asks if he meant sex. He pushes Enn in the face and begins to cry. They walk as the streetlights come on.
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