A Sense of Danger
By Mary Deasy, first published in Harper's Magazine
A woman dealing with conflicting emotions resorts to deliberately putting herself in danger to learn to value the life she's been given - but these unorthodox methods leave her more desperate than ever.
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Plot Summary
Fanny Poore makes her way down a crowded street purposefully, but even she is unclear as to what that purpose might be. Caught up in anxiety, she also tries to convince herself not to do this thing - almost unable to decide, she wants to cry but forces herself not to. Reeling under the burden of this nameless struggle, she stumbles into a store and pretends to look at hosiery. Unexpectedly, she runs into a colleague, Miss Petrie, and they decide to eat together. It is this conversation that allows her to articulate what she wants. The two acquaintances discuss Chekhov, and Fanny rambles on about 'frustrated women' in literature that hoped to have happy lives but found themselves entrapped by a cycle of mediocrity and dissatisfaction. She believes that it is only a sense of danger that forces one to value the life they have, no matter how insignificant it might seem otherwise. As she leaves, Fanny is suddenly certain about what she must do. She makes her way to an expensive store and constructs a ruse that allows her to steal a costly watch and leave without being apprehended. Terrified and exhilarated at what she has done, Fanny lays low in a movie theater for a few hours, experiencing a confusing jumble of emotions. When she is convinced she is safe, she goes home, trying all the while to fight the need to cry. At home, she looks desperately at the wristwatch; her emotional confusion has turned into a mix of paranoia and sadness, and all she can do is stand there weeping, begging for someone - anyone - to help her.
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