Banana Boats
By Mary Ann Taylor-Hall, first published in Paris Review
When her husband's heart condition lands him in the hospital, an elderly woman living in Florida reevaluates the formative events of her life.
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Rosa grew up in rural Illinois and is now married to a man named Gil, her husband of several decades and father to their three children. Rosa reminisces on her past, from the childhood she had in a home that was always full of her siblings and other kids, to the trials and tribulations of her marriage.
One hot day, Gil, now in his eighties, is edging the lawn, which causes him to pass out. Rosa cares for him initially, but when Gil's doctor hears of his fainting, they immediately hospitalize him, wanting to run tests and check his health, because of his age and heart condition. On her way leaving the hospital for the night, Rosa gets lost multiple times in the parking lot, forcing her to confront her own senescence.
Rosa thinks back about her life with Gil, remembering how she had found him one day and he told her of his heart condition that he got when he contracted malaria in Brazil. Rosa was raised religiously, and Gil's heart condition that reminded her of Jesus's sacred heart and her inability to be alone led her to marry him shortly after. Some years later when they have had two children, Gil encounters a friend who was on the Brazil trip with him, and the friend tells Gil that he is going to boat to Brazil again and offers him a job on the trip. Gil desperately wants to go, but at Rosa's hesitation, he immediately withdraws, apologizing just for suggesting he leave her alone for several months with two kids.
Several years later, Rosa learns from Gil's family when visiting in Florida that Gil never got malaria and never went to Brazil. He did have a heart condition; however, it was present since birth, which forced him to stay in bed often and read constantly, leading to an active imagination. Rosa realizes that Gil must have lied about the other trip too, and that he simply wanted a way to feel important.
Though she has the knowledge, Rosa chooses not to confront Gil with it, afraid that it will disturb their marriage right before they're both likely to die anyways. Rosa wants a peaceful life, and she especially wants to never be alone. Now that Gil is all she's got, with her children having grown up and moved out, Rosa chooses to keep her peace.
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