The Eldest Child
By Maeve Brennan, first published in The New Yorker
A young mother mourns the death of her firstborn child, a son, three days after his birth and falls into a bout of depression.
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Plot Summary
Mrs. Delia Bagot lived in her house for fifteen years. All three of her children were born in the Dublin house, including her firstborn who passed away.
This first child, a son, dies three days after Mrs. Bagot gives birth to him. She experiences a terrible grief, and everyone around her tells her that this is all part of God's plan. She feels that everyone accepts that the baby is dead but that she can never accept what has happened herself. Mrs. Bagot simply wants to be left alone. She pushes away her husband Martin, who would have felt the greatest joy in the world to see Delia holding the baby but does not feel the greatest pain watching her grieve. He wishes that life with Delia would go back to the way it was before the baby died, when they lived in their comfortable home together for a year and Delia was always kind. Martin thinks that Delia's grief must either be an act or that is excessive and uncurable. The doctor says that Mrs. Bagot's body is healing nicely, that she merely needs to cure her emotional state.
When Mrs. Bagot pushes Martin away, he calls up Mrs. Knox, a woman who came to help around the house, to guide him. Mrs. Knox sees that Mrs. Bagot wants to be left alone, and she and Mrs. Bagot's husband leave the room. Mrs. Bagot wants to be left alone so that she can envision the baby in her mind, to be with and always remember the baby; everyone else is getting in the way of that. She thinks of how wonderful, special, and friendly her baby was. When Mrs. Bagot finally falls asleep, she sleeps for hours and hours. When she wakes up, she feels that her baby is traveling far away and that she will watch him because she is his mother. When her husband returns to the room, Delia smiles and speaks to him.