Dreams of Distant Lives
By Lee K. Abbott, first published in Harper's Magazine
After his wife leaves him, taking their kids, a man realizes that his vivid nightly dreams have disappeared with her.
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A man in his late thirties has vivid dreams, often about animals or places or people he had interacted with that day. When his first son was born, he had a dream about the pigeons he saw outside the hospital. When he went on vacation, he dreamt about the people he saw at rest stops. Soon after his wife Karen leaves him, the man has a dream that he is a general. He wakes up looking for Karen. He goes around the house to find her and glances into his children's empty room. Then he opens the patio door and remembers that his wife and children are gone. The dreams become less vivid after Karen leaves the man and eventually stop completely. In the first few weeks after Karen leaves, his dreams become disjointed: in them he sees his father, his childhood friends, his childhood home, his college. They make less sense and have less to do with the people he met that day or the places he had been in his waking hours. One night, after hearing from Karen, the man sleep walks and wakes up to five empty water glasses on his bedside table. The last dream the man has is over a year after Karen leaves. His divorce is finalized, and the dream happens on a day he plays golf with his friends. After all his friends go home to their respective wives, the man stays back and jumps in the pool at the country club. He swims to the bottom and imagines that his wife and kids are not gone but simply somewhere else. After he gets out of the pool, he looks at his surroundings and mentally rearranges everything he can see, thinking that one building or car would look better if it swapped places with another. Then he goes home and has his last dream. The man reflects on how people tell truisms about internal lives, but it is through dreams that we get to know our inner selves. In his last dream, the man was at a crossroads at his current age and sees another version of himself, his inner self. The two versions are his future and his past, and they go to each other and embrace.
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